Women fear fellow women. And for many reasons beginning with those who have capacity to steal Baba Watoto from them. These female vultures who prey on married men can lead them down that slippery path to infidelity.
But what about the mother in-law, blood sisters and sister’s in-Christ? Indeed, a woman’s marriage can fail because of that neighbor who sports C-thru’s with acres of flesh to feast on at the opposite balcony, that hot-blooded ‘yellow-yellow’ Personal Assistant fresh from campus or even that Ex-File making seemingly erratic, but well calculated ‘old time’s sake’ ‘checking on you’ contacts.
Here are women any wife and wife to be should chunga sana about:
‘Old Lady’ the mother in-law
Some wives have an uneasy relationship with their mothers in-law. If she nonchalantly asks her son, “Of all the millions of women in Kenya, is this thing the only one you saw?” as sure as night follows day, your days as a wife are numbered. You can never win the war against a man’s mother. Even if she’s a witch. Her whims are law and if she doesn’t like you, woe unto you. Not even the 2010 Constitution can help you.
Maggy your younger sister/cousin
Closely following the mother’s position, another dangerous woman you wouldn’t want to trust with your man is your younger sister, or any female relative. A case in point is Atieno who was a happily married woman with three daughters in the mid-90s until her younger sister, Akoth came visiting. Within a month, Akoth was pregnant after ensnaring her sister’s hubby. She went on to have two babies with him. That incident broke the bond between the sisters. The incident also split their family. When Akoth died in 2002, Atieno skipped her funeral. Their children are now adults but they don’t talk to each other.
Mweni the barmaid
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Away from blood relatives, the most notorious hubby snatchers are barmaids. Some husbands who drink alcohol spend more time with the barmaid than their children or wives. A small errand like buying newspapers on a Saturday morning turns to a drinking session that will last until midnight.
All this time, the woman who bends over, both literally and figuratively to the man’s whims is the barmaid. They know more about a man’s business and personal problems than the wife. She always provides a listening ear, even when the man is drunk and incoherent.
Indeed, for most men, after a long day’s work, few things beat getting into the pub but before you sit down or ask for anything, you have been served your favourite drink, at the right temperature and with a smile and a sashay of hips by Mueni at the local.
Many modern women are too busy to balance career and household chores. Many are the times a woman will leave the house, instructing the husband to pay ‘mama wa kuosha’ who will come in at around nine.
However, the script is different like in Eldoret where Mama Nguo complain of being enticed by men who have no qualms paying in exchange for sex. Those who turn down the deal reportedly end up going home empty-handed.
Jane Chesang, a mother of three, shared how on different occasions, she has slept hungry after her client refused to pay her. “Most of us have really suffered. You wash their clothes, clean their houses, and after doing all that work, they refuse to pay and demand you have sex with them first. A few months ago, I met this man who pretended to be a born-again Christian.
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I did not suspect anything fishy when he offered to make lunch as I finished cleaning,” she says. She adds that, “After lunch, he asked me to join him in his bedroom for an afternoon nap, which I refused. He got so angry and claimed I had done a bad job and hence, he was not going to pay me. I was really desperate,” she said. Uasin Gishu County Commissioner Abdi Hassan condemned the act and urged the women to report such cases to the police.
“We are aware of this. It is however a challenge to pursue justice for the women because many of them suffer in silence as they fear reporting the matter to us,” he said.
“Forcing someone into an act that they are not interested in is an offence and we shall not let our women, who earn a living from washing clothes, to continue facing such cruelty,” he cautioned.
A while back, a South C man raped a Mama Nguo after she turned down his overtures. Mohammed Swalleh Mohammed it is claimed, raped Jackline Ouma on December 23. Ouma, a Mama Nguo, suffered injuries in her private parts after the incident. Mohammed denied the charge and was released on a cash bail of Sh100,000 as he awaits his trial on April 2.
You can call them office ‘spouse’ but female colleagues are prone to hit the sack with your hubby.
The closest woman to your husband is his work mate. They spend eight hours a day, five days a week, for the entire year, working side by side.
They develop projects from the scratch, tackle problems, go for field trips out of town together, beat deadlines and surpass their targets because they have the best work support relationship. The office friendship might blossom into a relationship especially if the wife is giving the guy unnecessary stress.
In one NSE listed company, a wife heard from her friend in her husband’s office that her hubby was taking a loan to buy a female co-worker a car. You can picture the ruckus she caused all the way to the HR Director’s office.
Apart from female co-workers, female boss is an easy way for many men who want a coveted promotion, not through hard work, but by working hard on his female boss.
Hot and willing female bosses are every lazy man’s dream. Problem with men is the female boss doesn’t have to be beautiful; the only attraction is in the power she wields. Very few men can say no to overtures from a powerful female boss who can kick his butt to the pavement is he thumbs his nose at toeing her panty line.
Another dangerous breed to the institution of marriage is the man’s ex-girlfriends.
These are the women who dated your husband while he was in campus, but left him for a richer man. Ten years down the line, your husband is the rich man, and kumbe, the richer man the woman had been dating was already married.
These yellowing X-Files are the ghosts that continuously haunt any woman’s marriage and by extension the hubby’s zipper, putting a strain on the man’s head. Any small opening and the former lover will easily bed your man again, cling to him and try having a baby with him.
And if you thought churches is a safe haven, think twice. Today’s churches are a nest of vipers. There are these saved, but judgmental women who worship with and also worship your husband.
They judge you as a bad wife because you don’t accompany him to keshas, yet they know you are nursing a six months old baby.
In their wicked eyes, they think they can make a better wife. When your husband holds their hands during prayers, they wickedly see it as a sign from God, so they prey on him. Brethren, they are the Jezebels in the church.
Another source of worry for married women is the internet.
The anonymity and safety behind keyboards empowers even the shyest to type outrageous things. Some are not even shy to state what they want, how they want it, when they want it and the positions they prefer.
Just like ex-girlfriends, old school mates can be a nightmare to any married woman.
There are women who eyed your man while they were still in campus but were too shy to approach him. Now in her 30s, the shy campus girl is probably a corporate big wig and knows that the only way to get what she wants is by going for it, head on.
Business partner’s interest can’t also be limited to profits. She is probably the backbone of your hubby’s business.
Together, they have fought employee theft, have lost money to conmen, and fought court battles including with auctioneers. Having gone through so much together, it’s only logical that as the business expands, so does their ‘business’ away from the office.
The greatest danger to marriage is the wife’s best friends.
Women complain or praise their husband to their friends. This is a double edged sword. If you complain about him but your friends think he is okay, they might ‘try’ him out to see if he also has faults elsewhere. If you praise him and say he is a three times a night man, as like the number of times KQ flies to Kisumu per day, they might also try and ‘taste’ the goodness. They all want their skins to glow, just like yours.