The WhatsApp phone application makes communication easier. It also helps ease exchange of videos, pictures and audio files. Some Kenyans, however take the exchanging a bit too far, and end up posting in appropriate files on WhatsApp groups. This week, we sample some.
1. Smiling in the morgue
Pictures are taken so that one remembers the happy moments. Why a grown up would take pictures of a dead man in a coffin, grey as ash with cotton wool in the nostrils and post in on social media beats me! Or taking pictures, smiling like a Cheshire cat, in the morgue.
2. Hell threats
We have all received those messages that end with, “Repost this if you love Jesus and you don’t want to go to hell” or “Post this to 30 people and see your life change in 15 seconds.” Please, don’t repost such messages to your WhatsApp group, if you have to, do so to those with whom you share the same religious beliefs with.
3. Online hawkers
A family or work WhatsApp group should strictly be just that: family and work! But some enterprising Kenyans keep posting pictures and prices of Chinese or multi-level marketing products they have been selling as part of their side hustles to workmates. What the hell?
4. That amputated limb...
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We all feel sad that you had to undergo an appendectomy operation, but why cross Ole Lenku’s red line by posting pictures of your gory newly stitched wound? Or the Caesarian section scar, or the freshly amputated limb, or...okay, you catch my drift?
5. Those pictures of mutura
Why take pictures of food before eating? Unless you are in the culinary world, or you are a 15-year-old girl in a boarding school, why take pictures of a mutura, choma or pizza before eating?
6. ‘Gory accident’ at Mlolongo
Kenyans have the disgusting habit of taking pictures at accident scenes then posting them on WhatsApp groups. Imagine you are about to eat lunch, only for a bloody picture of a ‘gory accident’ at Mlolongo to pop up from the group’s admin.
7. Too much 4-1-1
Nobody is interested in seeing the mole you cut off from your stench trench. Nobody needs to know that your troublesome uncle is visiting. Nobody needs to know that your landlord has raised rent. Brake on too much 4-1-1!
8. Leave babies in the cot
Babies are cute yes, but only send pictures of them to whoever sired them, sired you, or your relatives. Beside your one, some of us have several and from different women in each county. No one in the office is interested in knowing how sharp your daughter is or the first word your son said, unless its ‘Corruption must stop in this country.’
9. These braggadocios
Why post pictures, with caption, ‘Breakfast in bed’ yet you live in a bedsitter? It’s not like you have an option. Why post pictures of the sleek ka-Toyo car you bought on loan? It’s nobody’s business.
Why post pictures of the ten room bungalow you are building in Rongai? Will it be a private home or a hotel? How does it help others when you post pictures of the Sh6,000 bill you just paid for water and coffee at some upmarket joint?
10. Pictures from the small room
It will need a rocket scientist to find out why women go to clubs, drink, dance, and every few minutes, rush to the toilet to take pictures on the wall mirror. In the picture, you can also see a dirty mop peeking out of a dirty bucket!