21st of November marked the second year and eighth month of my relationship. In the beginning, it was a venture I was not sure of; but as time went by, it turned out to be the first life-changing and mind blowing experience I have ever had to participate in.
One of the things many ladies try to find out from me is what makes my man and I stay so close. I decided to share the things that make us want to see each other every day. If you are in a relationship, the following will increase the intimacy between you and your man.
Will to stay
The desire to be together is one of the things that made our two years and eight months possible. If you long to be with your man, nothing will ever come in between you. Never allow the fights, different opinions, egos; and varying ways of viewing life put a stop to your relationship. Put your heads together and find the solutions to the problems you have to deal with. Your will to be together is what will make you realize that despite being different people, you will always find a way of accommodating each other. Conversely, if you do not have this desire, you will never be able to fight for your relationship.
The king and queen concept
There can be only one king and one queen. A queen always listens to her king; and a king always takes heed to what the queen says. Being an extrovert and outspoken made it hard for me to know that there can only be one head in a relationship. During the times I tried to be the head, we always fell out and with time, I realized that a head cannot know the direction without its legs. I settled for being the legs in this relationship.
As a woman, know that your man is the leader in this journey. He is supposed to show the direction and you are supposed to guide him.Do not try to micromanage your relationship because men can see that and will feel threatened. As the queen, speak up when you see he is going the wrong way; and correct him with love since both of you are working towards being together.
Always be proactive in solving your relationship issues. Do not ignore them or give him the silent treatment because the more you do this, the more you will drift apart. View your problems as a chance for you to become a better person hence making your relationship grow.
Remember, problems are not the end of the world. Every relationship has its problems; but the difference between you and a happy couple is that the happy couple focuses on the solutions and not the problem.
Undoubtedly, this is a factor that has always made us survive the whirlwind of fights. A true friend is a person who celebrates your strengths and helps you work on your weaknesses. He or she will never leave at your weakest point; and won’t take advantage of you at your best moment.
If he corrects you and it is sensible, listen. He is not fighting you, finding fault or trying to make you look bad. He cares enough to leave you better than he found you. Never stop cultivating true friendship in your relationship because true friends are always loyal through the good and bad times
Do not expect to be close if you rarely meet eye to eye. Constant physical interaction is very relevant in making you intimate. While you are doing this, don’t split hairs over the useless quarrels and things that do not make your relationship healthy. Treat this moment like it is your last and it will always bring you close.
The ability to stay positive in your relationship increases the intimacy. No one loves negative people; and if you constantly whine, complain, have retrogressive conversations and look at the bad side of everything; it will slowly take away the life from your relationship. With time, your man will also start avoiding you . Fortunately, the reverse is also true. Seeing the good side of situations and emitting positivity at all times will make you more attractive thus making your man move closer to you.
Have a common goal
Focus and a clear road map towards achieving a common goal is another factor which increases intimacy in relationships. Besides your goals and his, have something the both of you want to achieve and benefit from. In doing this, your whole beings, minds, souls, ideas, perceptions; and energies will be in sync. For instance, start a business, fight for a cause, give back to the society or use your ideas to make your surrounding better.
Never compare your relationship to others because everyone has their journey. Ensure both of you are on the same page and focus on making your relationship the best. Take each day as it comes; do not expect to fly when you only have the experience to walk. You will hear of love hurting, relationships going wrong and single people advocating for singlehood; but that is their life. It does not have to define yours and you do not have to go along with what they say.
Like I always say, both partners determine how a relationship is; if you choose to harbor problems, put your egos at war, have a record of wrong doing; and focus on nitpicking, well; your relationship will never please you. On the other hand, if you choose to work as a team, use your strengths to improve on your relationship; and help each other work on your weaknesses; then expect a healthy relationship.
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