I’m a 39-year-old single man and I have recently told my best friend, who is 31 and also single, that I’m in love with her.
We have been friends for a few years and have been really close for three of those years. We were pretty much inseparable, but now she hardly speaks to me as she doesn’t feel the same and says she feels awkward now she knows how I feel.
I’m devastated by this, as I don’t want to lose our friendship, even though things have obviously changed. Any advice would help.
Admitting this to a friend is always a gamble and it’s a shame she doesn’t feel the same. And obviously it’s going to change things between you.
Right now, she probably doesn’t know how to handle it, which is why she’s keeping her distance. She’ll think you can’t be friends because she wouldn’t want to appear as if she’s leading you on. And for you, your relationship went past friendship some time ago.
I admire you for going for it and taking that gamble but when you do that you have to accept those feelings might not be reciprocated.
If I were you, I’d send her a message, saying you’re sorry she feels awkward and accepting that she’s been honest about not feeling the same. Add that you hope in time you can be friends again.
Right now, though, I think you need a cooling off period to let emotions calm down.