Is it just me, or everyone is getting back with their exes for sex? There were days when individuals broke up and everyone disappeared into thin air. Lately, no sooner folks break up than they start trails of chats on WhatsApp and other numerous texting and sexting facilities at our disposal.
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Any time I am dating, there is a potential threat from some ex who never really went away. Occasionally you stumble upon their messages when snooping. Always pleading lustfully, ever so ready to jump with them in the sack or even play number two.
Relationships nowadays last shorter periods than in the past. Individuals meet in parties, bars and other places where alcohol flows. More and more women have removed the word NO from their vocabulary. Men don’t even try hard any more. Dating has been reduced to ‘hey-can-we-have-drinks-on-Friday’. And on the material Friday, after having one-too-many, it is always ‘we-can-go-to-my-place’. By Saturday morning, it is over and decided whether you can have more such nights or never.
In the event you enjoy each other’s company, you date for a short period. Soon you sober up and discover a relationship premised on alcohol can never work and you go separate ways. But not quite. You will always be available when they want a loan. You will always be available for a casual drink that invariably leads to you know what.
The Internet and mobile phones changed dating permanently, and for worse. Your ex never goes away.
How often do they crawl to your bedroom at night when asleep in the form of a text or a sext? How often do they strike up in Facebook chat or when liking or commenting on your post? We have made it impossible for us to move on. If you never call back, you are labeled bitter. If you do, you are labeled mature. Being mature has more perks.
Even so, Kenya is such a small country and our towns have fewer amenities you always end up with your ex in such places. There are only fewer and respectable nightclubs for us to share. There are only few universities we all can enroll for Masters. There only few places we can gather for worship. So unless one moves to another country, you ex can be a permanent fixture in your life. You have to reconfigure your life completely in order to avoid your ex completely.
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However, exes can be resourceful. I don’t know whether their dry spell always coincides with yours, many are always on the ready as soon as you call. Given the familiarity, cutting to the chase is the norm. They are constantly available, disturbingly even when they are dating or married. Except if the breakup was so dramatic or painful no one wants to see the other.
One of the bigger tragedies of life is that those who make us happy, rarely stay longer in our lives. May be, that is why, there is always that one ex who can get it, regardless of the present dating or marital status. They are simply irreplaceable.
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