Things he wishes you knew

Chebet is outgoing and makes friends easily. On the other hand, her husband Kirui is reserved and prefers spending time alone at home.

Many times, Kirui is in disbelief about how easily his wife engages with others, whom in his view, are strangers to the family and should be treated as such.

He feels she is too intimate with people she is not so familiar with, and at the same time, spends too much time socialising.

He finds her talking so loudly, laughing so much and calling for attention to herself, which he refers to as ill manners. This is a challenge as Chebet does not see justification in her partner’s complaints.

This is a case of personal temperaments; Chebet is obviously an extrovert and a sanguine.

What extroverts wish you knew about them

They enjoy being in the company of others and thrive in those circumstances.  They have no intention of offending but find themselves simply enjoying their friends company and prefer outdoor activities.

They do not always understand their personality; they generally mean well but feel most misunderstood. They get threatened by seclusion and instead prefer action and activities. They appreciate open communication.

What introverts wish you knew about them

Desiring time alone is not because they do not like you; they simply enjoy their space and need time alone to thrive. They enjoy the company of extroverts with reasonable boundaries and even when they seem like they are not having fun, they usually are. It’s just that their way of expression is different. 

They are patient and good listeners. They express themselves in a secure environment. They are not lonely when you think they are; they are calm, enjoy their space and are content.

Awareness is the heart beat of therapy and it easy to work towards oneness when partners understand their own temperaments and those of their partners.  Chebet is a sanguine. The sanguine types have an appealing personality. They are talkative, fun-loving — usually the life of the party, and tend to attract others to themselves.

They are full of energy and passion, and they try to instill their passion in others. They have a great sense of humour. They are emotional and expressive, often cheerful and bubbling over. They also have a large capacity for curiosity. They make friends easily and thrive on compliments. They do not hold grudges and tend to apologise without hesitation. There is no dull moment with them and they flourish on spontaneous activities.

Annoying habits

On the negative side, they can leave in the middle of a chore or assignment if they find something else more interesting or fun. They never want to grow up. They are compulsive talkers. They also tend to exaggerate and elaborate, dwelling on trivialities. They often have loud voices and laugh loudly.

They allow themselves to be controlled by circumstances and are egotistical. They can be arrogant, cocky and indulgent, thriving on fantasies. They dislike being alone and need to occupy the centre stage. They love popularity and receiving credit. They make poor listeners and are often time wasters.

Temperaments play a major role in behaviour. Interestingly, however, people suppress them during the courtship period. They do not allow small things to get in the way, nor do they allow annoying habits to become an issue. After the marriage, though, what one put up with before is no longer bearable.