The selfish bride

By Julie

It’s time someone called out brides on some of the annoying things they do. That person is me.

The first thing I will point out is that the wedding is not all about you. Yes, you are the bride, but that is no ticket to be rude, callous or plain self-centred. You cannot go around ordering everyone, even your parents, just because you are the bride.

You may be paying the hair stylist and the florist, but they are still human beings, professional, and adults; and they have feelings. Don’t be tyrannical. Treat them with respect, even when they err. Your paths may cross again.

Second, it’s your day, but that does not mean you must have everything you want. Sorry your sister couldn’t travel from the UK to see you getting wed. Sorry the flowers you wanted were out of season. Weddings are a part of life where things do not have to be perfect to be fine. And yes, it’s the kinks that make for wonderful memories.

Your guests are exactly that, guests. They have left their activities to come honour you on your day, so treat them as you would if they were coming to your home. That means that being late as the bride is not fashionable; it is rude. Also, long photo shoots and leaving guests waiting for hours, bored to the zzzz is unacceptable.

It is also rude to fry your guests in the sun for a whole morning or afternoon. Provide tents or at least hold your wedding in the shade or in a room.

When it comes to wedding dresses, if you wouldn’t show that much skin any other day, then don’t do it on your wedding day. At my cousin’s wedding, every time she bent to serve the cake, dance or sign the certificate, people turned away in embarrassment at the amount of cleavage on display. I remember my grandmother begging me not to wear that kind of dress on my wedding.

For gifts, remember that while they are often given and very much appreciated, they are never mandatory for wedding guests to bring. Don’t ask a guest why they didn’t bring you something. Gifts are gifts.

Finally, your wedding is your wedding. Your parents do not have to buy you something; neither do your friends have to contribute certain things or amounts of money. If they want to, they can. But they do not have to. Don’t hate them of bad mouth them if they don’t.