The bed: Source of trouble

By Julie

Before you get married, it is hard to imagine that a bed can be a source of marital conflict. Well, it is, for many people, I came to learn; and it was for us. That is why one old piece of wisdom says you buy a duvet that’s larger than your bed; it will eliminate about 25 per cent of potential arguments in your house.

Our first bed fight was over my sleeping. Having been single so long, I happened to acquire the habit of sleeping diagonally across the bed. After many nights of squeezing himself in the little space that remained after I slept, my husband decided to call that annoying bit to attention. But even after I tried sleeping ‘straight’, issues would arise over who stepped on who, who’s flailing arms hit who at night, and who kept startling at night.

We also fought about how to make the bed. I always spread the top sheet so it is aligned with the head of the matrress. My husband wanted more of it to allow him to bury his face under it. You can guess it — I slept with my face uncovered; so whenever I made the bed, that night there would be a fight. And if he made the bed there would be a fight as over-abundant covers were choking me at night! We almost decided that each us have his and her own duvet, but then we were newly married; how would that look, we wondered.

Too hot

But that was not all. Our body thermometers were soon to throw a spanner in the works. I sleep barely dressed because I get too hot at night, so I needed a light duvet. My hubby, on the other hand, would be in socks, trousers and a sweater on a January night, but would still need two duvets on the bed, besides the sheets!

I was going crazy. I thought sharing a bed every night would be the most exciting part of marriage. Now it was driving wedges between us.

To solve the problem of bad sleeping posture on my part, we got a bigger bed; but we couldn’t find bedding big enough to overflow on both sides. That brought a new problem of hogging covers at night, leaving the other in the cold! Right now, I’m beyond judging couples who sleep in separate beds for pragmatic reasons.