Five types of men likely to sleep with your wife while you are away

Dorcas (not her real name) is a teacher at a local primary school in Migori and as she welcomes the evening marking the end to yet another busy day, a well cleaned up boda boda guy is waiting patiently at the school gate.

From his calm demeanor, one would tell that he has done this for a while and is used to arriving a few minutes ahead of school closing time and waiting tolerantly until she appears.

To the many oblivious of the real scenario, he is just another boda boda and as it is the norm, many have their preferred and trusted operators; truth which is however stranger than fiction is that he offers more than a motor bike ride, he rides her too in place of her husband who works as a driver to a politician in the County and who unless the politician is coming home which he rarely does, then Dorcas' husband does not come either.

"Sometimes, he takes up to 6 months, he does send money regularly and calls every day; sometimes, I pick when *John is right on top of me," she says with a coy, unperturbed smile.

When married couples are separated by distance, many have touted that it is the men who cannot stay without sex that often seek other partners for sexual satisfaction. Some even have come we stay arrangements that their spouses are oblivious of.

Millions of Kenyan men have left their wives up-country as they migrate to major urban centers like Nairobi, Mombasa Kisumu and Nakuru to eke a living.

What these men do not know is that their wives are not sitting pretty hugging the pillows tight and reminiscing of their touch; nay, the women are quenching the inferno between their legs and these are the ilk of men likely to sex your wife while you are laying on your back staring at the ceiling wondering what she is up to.

Boda boda

The industry is both a blessing and an anathema at the same time, they have made transport to short distances cheaper and faster and yet still in regions like Western and Nyanza, they have contributed to crime and increase in HIV/prevalence.

Many in the industry are youth still oozing with exuberance and reek of lust thus falling easy prey for women seeking toy boys to service them in the absence of their husbands.

Dorcas narrates how she lured John into being her hubby's substitute; he carried her one day and he portrayed rare discipline on the road and did not overcharge her despite it being in the evening when most of them double prices.

"I asked for his number and became his regular customer, he is a decade younger than me and it took a few 'keep change' and an invite for a meal in my house. The rest is incredible orgasms that even my hubby has never made me reach,"

The evidently shy 22 year old boy who agreed to the interview says many of his colleagues are either in a come with stay 'situationships' with widows or married women whose husbands are in the urban centers.

"Very few of us are married and are monogamous, girls are troublesome and ask for too much, with the little we make, it is a tall order maintaining them thus many of us actually prefer for married women,"

Isn't it risky dating married woman?

"Yes, but life in itself is a risk, our job is a risk and so it's about playing safe, if she lives in a homestead with in-laws then lodgings are the better options,"

In Migori, some lodgings go for as little as 150 shillings, quite affordable for a woman dying to quench her thirst while her hubby is away without having to bring a man to her house considering children and nosy neighbors.

Not all of boda boda guys have fallen prey to such women,

At Post bank stage, a middle aged woman made for a boda boda but the operator snubbed her saying he was waiting for another customer, the rest seemed to assume her too.

"We have nicknamed her Mrs. John after the famous wakimbizi song 'John.' She has a bad habit of holding riders suggestively and is extremely vulgar, we hear she is a married woman whose husband works in Nairobi," an operator whispered to the Nairobian.

Brother-in laws

Could either be a blood brother, close or distant cousin; in Luo culture for instance and Luhya, a brother or cousin could sleep with one's wife and it was and still is not frowned upon. The brother in laws are referred to as "Yuoro" and in the yester years, were allowed to keep the woman company while her husband went hunting or at war and was not due to return for days.

With modernity, many tout that practices like wife inheritance and brother in laws standing in place of their brothers have not died because sex is involved. Some men would lie in the comfort that their brother and not a stranger was laying with their wives.

Chief Odero of Nyakach says as local administrators, they face many cases where husbands who work in towns accuse their wives of sleeping with their husbands' brothers.

"It happens and we have seen handled so many such cases. When cheating involves relatives, it is a little complicated and in such instances, we involve the elders and other elderly members of the sad family" he said.

He reckons that a bother in law can take vantage of the woman's vulnerability by providing for her, helping her out with manly chores and expecting sexual favours in return.

"Normally, it is not easy to suspect them because it is normal for a man to act friendly with his sister in law,"

High School boys

Unlike in towns, school going age group in rural areas is a little different. Most start school late and one finds that male high school students are hardly teenagers in most circumstances. Most are in their early twenties and become easy targets for starved women seeking satisfaction.

The young high school boys some admittedly in their teenage are often lured with pocket money and other trivial goodies

In Bar Olengo Siaya County, an incident shocked residents when a 17 year old boy allegedly impregnated a married woman wo had been luring him into having sex with her.

In Luo traditions, a teenage boy who has become sexually active cannot spend the night in his mother's house and so must have his own hut or go "lau nindo" (sleep at a neighbors r Uncle's place with peers)somewhere else.

The boy, a form three student would sleep at a neighbor's house since, a married woman whose husband was a senior Civil servant in Nairobi and who herself was a respected business woman in town.

She had a permanent house with extra rooms as her teenage children were away in boarding schools; the boy would use an extra room in her house and that is how she managed to lure him into sleeping with her.

Trouble started when she got pregnant despite her not having seen or slept with her husband in months, that marked the end of her marriage.

Men of Cloaks

Requires no Einstein IQ, women are naturally gullible creatures who turn to religion for comfort and that in turn becomes their point of weakness.

As they spend more time doing the work of the lord, attending night vigils and special prayers with the pastor, affairs have brewed and many marriages have broken thanks to unwise counsel from the men of God.

A story is told of a man from Chebarus, Uasin Gishu County who was working in Nairobi and made an impromptu visit home only to find the door locked. He inquired from the neighbors who told him the wife had gone to do laundry at the nearby river; he went there and did not find her.

On his way back, he followed a different route and stumbled on his wife and the local pastor having sex in a maize plantation, the estranged man set the pastor's house ablaze.

Pastors' 'eating' their flock is no news; such cases have become a norm and married women whose husbands work in urban areas are more often than not the gullible culprits.

Fathers-in-law

In one sleepy village in Shirotsa, Kakamega County, Simiyu had left his wife of one year at home in search of greener pastures in Nairobi where he was employed as a security in one of the security firms.

He had his 'Idisi' in his father's homestead just near the homestead entrance. In his absence, Shiundu the boda boda at the nearest center would sneak into his house and keep his wife warm. Nekesa would leave the door open and he would sneak in at night.

One night Simiyu's father who had admired Nekesa's 'indumbu' and lusted after where the legs met came home drunk(or so he wanted people to think) and made straight for the daughter-in-law's house. It so happened that the same night, Shiundu had visited and in the middle of sex, developed a stomach upset and rushed to the nearest bush to relieve himself.

The father in law on finding the door open, crept in and headed straight to the sons bedroom and began fondling the daughter in law who all this while assumed it was the boda boda guy who was resuming from where they had left.

Shiundu retuned and found someone else on top of Nekesa and in a fit of rage, forgetting that he equally had no claim on the woman, broke mayhem. Only then did Nekesa realize this was her father in law and not Eshiundu.

The man claimed he was drunk and thought he was making love to his wife, irate villagers beat the three of them senseless.

Simiyu on hearing the news locked himself in his one roomed house in Kawangware and took his own life.

Elder Silvanus Nalyana says it is a taboo for a man to have sex with his daughter in law saying it is known as 'luswa' meaning they are ritually contaminated or are impure and must be shunned until cleansing is done through lustration rites.