Donkey meat best for weightlifters

By mark mutahi

What do donkeys and weightlifters have in common? Obviously they both lift and carry heavy things that ordinary mortals wouldn’t.

When a top UK scientist asked himself that question, it immediately occurred to him that weightlifters have to work at it and train for years while donkeys are born with it. And that’s when it struck him that maybe there was something in donkey meat that would be beneficial to professional body builders and weightlifters.

“My suspicion was that donkeys had a special kind of protein in their flesh, a protein that contains strength enhancing molecules and the reason why donkeys are the only domesticated animals that are universally acknowledged as the beasts of burden,” wrote Professor Antony Hobert of the University of Sussexfield in the preamble to his research paper published in the Loyal Journal of Biological Sciences.

Rats

To test his theory, the scientist employed two groups of rats: “To the first group of rats or the control experiment, I fed them on ordinary beef. It’s the second that I fed on donkey meat. After a few days, I got rocks of equal weight and tied them on the backs of all the rats. The rats that were fed on ordinary meat really struggled to lift those stones. But the ones I had fed on donkey meat were able to lift those rocks and even run around without breaking a sweat. It was amazing,” said Prof Sussexfield.

When told of how the researcher went about seeking empirical evidence to his hypothesis, a London resident couldn’t fail to see the inefficiency of it all.

Hooves

“Why couldn’t he just have travelled to Kenya and studied actual human beings who have actually fed on donkey meat? I mean, if TV news and newspapers reports are anything to go by, most Kenyans have been unsuspecting consumers of donkey meat at one time or the other.

“We read about donkeys disappearing and then their hooves and heads being found in bushes ... where do you think that meat ends up? On dinner tables of course!”

But a Nairobi resident wondered where the UK scientist sourced donkey meat for his experiment.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he ordered it from Kenya. Probably there is a missing donkey in some rural village in Kenya!” a cynical George Mutiso theorised.

But when the news of the research findings were broken to a weightlifter,