Other than God, Africans need the whip

By Andrew Kipkemboi

Incensed that I had stopped at a zebra crossing, a motorist hooted annoyingly at me and flashed his lights. He frothed at the mouth when I brought to his attention the fact that that was a zebra crossing. He even gave me the finger. I hoped that was how far he would go.

The man whizzed down the road and I gently followed him drawing up to him at the traffic lights where an exuberant policeman had stopped all cars. I knew he remembered our earlier encounter for the way he looked at me. I figured out it was my turn to get my own back at him.

Should I or should I not? In the face of authority, the man looked agreeably modest, harmless and law-abiding and I thought to myself; other than God as Mathew Parris a Times of London columnist and confessed atheist, says, Africans need the whip. Parris visited the continent and discerned what marked out the believers from non-believers.

So as we waited for the officer to let us go, I relished in the moment, seeing my tormentor squirm in his seat as I tried, unsuccessfully (not for want of it though) to get the attention of the officer. Most of us invariably come across motorist Xs daily.

Actually, it is while on the road that one experiences the raw, uncivilised nature of the average Kenyan: pushy, temperamental and uncouth. So why was in he in a rush, I asked myself? Didn’t he think pedestrians too, have a right of way? But then at the lights because ‘Big Brother’ was watching, motorist X was meek, obedient and cowed. A totally different human being.

Exemplified in my experience, Africa is a brute fact of utter rudeness, callous incompetence, primitive tribalism and grotesque gluttony. When will Africa get it right? Poverty, violence, greed and sinister politics are emblematic of our society.

Because of the malaise that defines our social, political and economic interactions, Africa seems inexorably inclined to be the bad story of the world. Our society drips in bewildering vileness, intrigue and mind boggling selfishness. Our aversion to law and order turns us into our own enemies. Absence of political debate means few are willing to stick their noses into grave matters. Most of us just live and let live.

One of the glaring attributes that most of us scribble mindlessly in our curriculum vitae is that we can work under minimum supervision. It is a lie. In truth, most of Kenyans, much less our politicians, perform optimally when someone holds their feet to the fire.

One-man dictatorships

Come to think of it: What made the so-called Michuki Rules in the matatu industry work had more to do with the no-nonsense manner of the former transport Minister, who unlike Ali Mwakwere who is holding the docket now, ensured the rules were adhered to. A former home guard, Michuki, knew that a few lashes to the bare back could force the hand of the African.

So it is true; it will take more than faith to move Africa forward. And that there are hard lessons to be drawn from such one-man dictatorships like Libya, Egypt and lately Rwanda where life is relatively better for the average citizen. Africa has veered off the beaten track with calamitous frequency and a strong hand might be needed to beat it back to size when it goes astray.

something changed

When we were finally let to go, I could see the glum look on the face of the motorist give way to a wry smile and I felt for the motorist he would bully next — behind the back of the policeman.

Whenever we entered a territory worked by missionaries, Parris says, something changed in the faces of the people we passed and spoke to: something in their eyes, the way they approached you direct, man-to-man, without looking down or away. They had not become more deferential towards strangers — in some ways less so — but more open.

Removing Christian evangelism from the African equation may leave the continent at the mercy of a malign fusion of Nike sports shoes, witch doctors, mobile phone and machete, Parris concludes.

Bring the whip, we need it.

—The writer ([email protected]) is Foreign News Editor at The Standard.