Dude’s Den: Not all men who live under their parents’ roof are dumb

By Anne Muiruri | 3yrs ago | 3 min read

**I have always made negative assumptions about men who are over 25 and still live with their parents. That was until I met Steve. Photo: Stock.**

What is it like dating an adult man who still lives with his parents?

I have always made negative assumptions about men who are over 25 and still live with their parents. In fact, parental cohabitation was high up on my list of dating deal-breakers, and I was damn sure I would never find myself entangled with such a man.

That was until I met Steve. Steve was 29 and still lived at home. Well, I didn’t know that part until later on. Before I met him, I always imagined all men who live with their parents were indolent, scruffy, pot-smoking moochers.

The impression

I was under the impression that men who choose to shack up with mum and dad are good-for-nothing ambitionless losers with questionable personal hygiene and they spend all day in their underwear smoking and watching series.

Steve was a total contradiction of this. He was employed with a steady income and clean-shaven with impeccable personal hygiene as far as I could tell. So I almost fell off my chair when he told me that he was still living with his parents.

I was curious to know why a guy like him who seemingly had his life together was still residing in his childhood home. He told me that he had been forced to move back in with his parents a year prior after a business venture failed, leaving him penniless. He decided to live at home as he tried to get back on his feet.

He was able to secure a good job within a short time because he is very highly educated. He told me that he decided to continue living with his parents despite earning a good income because he doesn’t want to live all his life as an employee. He wants to be a business owner. Living at home helps him to save the money he will need to put up the business he wants.

Part of me had started to dismiss him the moment I found out he lived with his parents, but the more I listened to him talk, the more intrigued I become.

Good-for-nothing deadbeat

He wasn’t a good-for-nothing deadbeat who was freeloading off his parents. He was a diligent and ambitious young man with probably a bright future, exactly the kind of man I would want to be with, so thus began our relationship.

I was a little worried that our sex life would suffer because of our living arrangements. At the time, I was living in a campus hostel room with three other girls, so having sex there was out of the question.

He was reluctant to have me stay over at his place out of respect for his parents, which I completely understood because we had just begun dating.

So, we had to get creative! We resorted to having sex in unconventional places which was quite thrilling. If there is one thing I learnt from this relationship is that car sex is hot! Other than that, we took regular out-of-town weekend trips so we could have some privacy.

The fact that he wasn’t paying rent and bills meant he always had some extra money to spare for nice hotel rooms in exotic locations where we didn’t have to sneak around to have sex. It was great!

If I had given him the brush-off just because of his temporary living situation, I would have missed out on what is one of the best relationships I have ever had.