Learn to tie knots before parading with a towel around your waist

Two decades ago, there was a freak accident, which almost tore a family apart. A girl had visited her parents’ home, in the company of her little daughter.

In the morning, as her father went to the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, he saw his daughter and granddaughter in the living room. A grandfather’s doting love got the better of him.  

The granddaughter gleefully raised her hands, asking for her usual treat of being tossed in the air.

The old salt obliged. And then doo-doo hit the fan.

My (almost) oops moment

I like taking a shower in the morning, before I wake up Pudd’ng to prepare for school. Most mornings, straight from the bathroom with a towel around my waist, I call – or, if she does not hear – gently shake her awake, before I go to our bedroom to get dressed up.

On school day mornings, time files and waking Pudd’ng up three minutes past her waking time can cause her to leave home late. She leaves home at around 6am, and I walk her up to the road and make sure she is safe.

This morning, I woke her up about five minutes late. In order to help her save time, I decided to undo her mosquito net while she made her bed.

First, let’s talk about Murphy’s Law. Damn Murphy’s Law. How come when you are in house alone, you can do back flips and cartwheels with a towel the size of a tissue wrapped around your waist, and it will not come out or expose your business? It will stick on your skin like it has super glue. But when folks are around, a six-by-six towel will decide to fly away like it has been blown away by a hurricane.

This morning, my towel decides to drop as I am undoing my daughter’s mosquito net. The knot just gave way and though this happened in a split second, there was a part of me that felt like things were happening in slow-mo.

Two things saved me the blushes. One, Pudd’ng was still half-asleep and her head was bowed down as she made her bed. The other thing that saved me was my quick reflexes.

Speaking of reflexes, I’m lucky because I had to “choose” between two inanimate objects: towel and mosquito net. When we are faced with such happenings, our minds don’t have the time to weigh our options – and consequences – and make correct choices.

To, I think, save himself the blushes, the old salt decided to first rescue the towel. In a split second, the little girl fell headlong and cracked her skull on the concrete floor.  

Towel rules for dads

I have heard people hurling barbs like, “You’re useless like a wet towel”. Man, you don’t know what you’re talking about. When a wet towel decides to show you who’s useless, you can feel like hiding your face from your loved ones. Or, if you are like the poor grandpa, you can pray for the ground where your granddaughter fell on to open up and swallow you.  

Which is why I have some unwritten rules to avoid those oops moments.

One, if you must walk around the house with a towel wrapped around your waist, first learn how to tie knots that won’t come undone at the most importune moment.

Two, wear a boxer or short underneath the towel, just in case an oops moment happens.

Three, make sure the towel is large enough to wrap around your waist, without it looking like you are wearing a skirt that has a waist-high slit.

Four, invest in a bathrobe. It can save you oodles of blushes.