Lies women tell themselves that have found them in messy and painful situations

By Dayan Masinde | 6yrs ago | 2 min read

This is a tough topic.

So many ladies have found themselves in a messy and painful situation because they put up hopes in a man where they shouldn't have.

Many ladies misread what a man says and does and they try hard to convince themselves that the man loves them but the man is actually not interested.

This is made worse when a woman has been deprived of attention for a long time. Such a woman, as soon as she gets some form of attention from a man, she quickly concludes "This is love"

"Lies I told me" by Prisca Ojwang' wonderfully expresses this dilemma in music. The song is well written narrating how the man says one thing, but the woman insists he means what she wants him to mean. Lady, are you putting words in his mouth?

There are ladies who are convinced they are in a relationship with a man but according to the man, they are just friends.

Lady, you are not in a relationship until you two agree you are in a relationship. You are not his wife until he submits to God to be your husband.

Don't go ahead of yourself or men will misuse you and dump you. There are men who thrive on grey areas but you should insist on clarity. Your heart and body is too precious to give it out on assumptions. Don't have questions in your head but you're too shy to ask them. If the man is a good man, he will cover you; but if he doesn't care, he will take advantage of your insistence on a relationship then leave you.

Know when to walk away. Know how to read the red flags and signs. Know when a man is clearly avoiding you and passing a message that he is not into you.

A man who needs you will pursue you in the clearest of ways, he will not beat around the bush. He will demonstrate to you that you are the Queen he needs.

Don't make excuses for a man. He wastes your time but you say that's who he is, he slaps you but you say that's how tough love is, he cheats on you but you say he is just being a man, he avoids you but you say he is just busy, he is cold towards you but you blame yourself yet you did no wrong.

As Akello says, when someone shows you who you are, believe them. When the writing is on the wall, don't edit it to suit the lies you tell yourself.