My mental anguish after being diagnosed with breast cancer

Four years ago, I felt a lump on the left breast. My left breast was also unusually larger than the right breast. I visited two rural hospitals where a test revealed a lump. A hard immobile lump. The doctors referred me for further tests. I was only 34 then. In the one week I awaited diagnosis, I had nightmares and hallucinations. I truly thought I would die. Mammogram results confirmed first stage breast cancer. Being a nurse, I knew too well the course of treatment and I was worried that my child was going to be left motherless. That brought me so much stress. I could not bear to use a mirror. I didn't want to see the diseased breast. Many times, I would drive to work and totally absorbed in my turmoil, I would pass my office only to realise when I was miles away.