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It has been really hard for me to go to the mall this August holiday. Reason being, I am a teen magnet. I just can’t stop attracting 14-17 year olds. To be fair though, when I am in flat shoes and clothed a little bit more modestly, I can easily pass for 16.
Regardless, revealing that I am well into my 20s does not seem to deter them. After spending one too many afternoons shooing away some strong willed adolescents, I have come to the conclusion that teenage boys are the most annoying people in the world.
I understand that their hormones are going haywire and just talking to an attractive woman makes their day, but boundaries anybody? When I am in the mall doing some shopping, I am in my zone. The last thing I need is a scrawny, acne-ridden prick with hideous cornrows distracting me.
I do not enjoy the attention of teenagers. I did not enjoy the attention of teenagers even when I was a teenager. Maybe it is their bland conversations or their horrible fashion sense.
You see, during my time as a teenager, hitting on someone meant some subtle flirtations; very subtle and innocent. However, the teenagers of today must be reading from the wrong manual because their idea of hitting on somebody has gone from innocent flirting into more inappropriate territory.
They walk around in groups of four or five doing cats calls and wolf whistles at anything in a skirt until one of them plucks up enough courage to walk up to a girl and say something. Then it all goes downhill from there. A poignant reminder of just how rough being young and awkward can be.
Teenage boys cannot vibe anyone to save their lives. It is usually the same boring routine. A short stifled conversation then he shoves a phone in your hands for you to save your number. When you start to protest, he hits with a, “Si vibaya kujuana” line. He will say it can’t hurt if he has my number. Wrong! It hurts my street credibility. I mean, besides you being a definite jailbait, do you know how much damage to my reputation just standing around with a minor who is still in high school could cause? But ten points for actually thinking you stand a chance with a girl who is out of your league.
It is sad really. Sometimes I wanted to sit the young lad and teach him how to successfully and effectively hit on a woman. Step one; lose the cornrows. @RoxanneKenya
