Well I had a good laugh the other day while I was watching news, well I knew I shouldn’t be especially with my mother’s reaction to these stories, but they were quite funny to me seeing how people can be quite easy at times. I was watching a local T.V station and saw the most absurd human acts.
So for the Tuesday bulletin the news producer saw it fit to make some two ludicrous stories follow each other. First off in the blue corner weighing 2 minutes and 30 seconds *totally cooked* world story of the day, only in South Africa… a pastor wakes up in the morning, craving chocolates and Eureka! Thy snakes shall taste like chocolates. I shall eat them as they are *mojo jojo evil face* the only problem is, he is not the one eating these snakes, it is his congregation.
Baffled as I was not, because this story had already made its way to social media, it was still amazing how these people could sit there, listen to this pastor’s experiment, think about it (although I doubt they did a lot of that) and decide yes! I shall partake of this Holy chocolate and it shall taste wonderful. So this person says a deep prayer and sheds a tear and then walks to the front of the church bends their knees and says ‘yes pastor you are God sent and He alone sent you to test us with this test of faith.
Surely there must have been a man in that church sane enough to sense how misplaced this Sunday morning had been… maybe not after all it is God’s word and thou shall not question the message of the Most high. This was quite humorous for me but my mother on the other hand, was extremely pissed off!!
If she could she would have kicked down that TV set with so much fury. The only thing she could utter repeatedly was ‘what is this now???’ and I am so sure my laughter did not make things any better. She was especially furious at the pastor like he held a gun on these people’s heads but that was actually my humour point!
All this man did was stand at his pulpit and utter a few words to convince the poor souls, not to speak in tongues otherwise the message would not reach its target and these people just took it upon themselves to test the waters no push or pull whatsoever!! I seriously have no Idea why he got arrested. The congregates are the ones who should have been arrested for allowing their stomach to undergo such unfamiliar digestions.
And in the red corner… weighing something something minutes and whatever seconds, on the footsteps of ‘mount zion’ having more than 1000 followers!!! god! No, that is not a typo, god is missing. A white car was at his house on Sunday morning and he was whisked away to no one knows where even his angel has no clue… is god dead? Oh what has become of Wanyonyi?? Wanyonyi is the god of some church in Luhya land and he has gone missing, feared dead but his child wants nothing of this! ‘umeona maiti yake ndo useme amekufa?’ she yelled as she tried to chase the followers away from the compound.
Well they just wanted to know if their leader was dead, no harm no foul, they need to know whether they need to re write their worship manuscript *I am not entirely sure they have one of those* but hey, they got to have some songs here and there, or they just use our hymn books but have Wanyonyi in mind while singing?? *creepy* so the funny side of these is basically the same, someone woke up and decided they are going to be the first human mortal god of these people and people partook of this message and decided to drop everything and become fishers of men!
Well at least in this case he was not arrested, or maybe he couldn’t be because he was missing… oh well the good thing is the world did not bash him for taking this approach on people’s appeal… good for him and his followers hopefully will not have to make paper out of wood in order to create new hymns for another god.
Don’t get me wrong I am not in support of these people although I don’t see anything I should be bashing them for after all there is freedom of worship and religion right? Everyman with his own god, God for us all *drops mic*
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