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Before the terms ‘baby daddy’ and ‘deadbeat dad’ became fashionable, the world had the term ‘absentee daddy’. Men simply vanished upon discovering that they had put a woman they did not want to marry in the family way.
But human beings have evolved. Women are more enlightened. The force of the law is gradually tightening around absentee daddies, and well-off men are being slapped with heavy child-upkeep fines. But also, we have a new generation of conscientious men, ready to raise the children they sire out of wedlock. This has given rise to sticky situations for single mothers. They want to go out and date, but the baby daddy is always lurking in the background, complicating their lives and lives of prospective boyfriends, or in your case husband.
Some men are cool. And some are idiots. And that is your current predicament. Your potential wife, currently live-in girlfriend, has this baby daddy lurking in the background and has sworn to make her life a living hell. He has the custody of the daughter, and you have no clue on how to take the daughter from the man. Of all the strategies you have devised, none seems plausible.
Whereas you are financially well-off, you are no match to the deep pockets of the baby daddy. To make it worse, he is a hot-shot lawyer, known both for his legal acumen and ruthlessness. You are no match for what he can do, man-on-man.
Carol is helpless. This is purely your battle. And it is likely to be a battle of wits. Definitely, you are the wittier one. But in Kenya, money talks. “The problem is he keeps the daughter, because I refused to be his second wife. In a way, he is punishing me. He is petty.”
You muse over these words Carol told you last week. “He is petty”. Can that be the key to your victory?
You decide to fight him through the media. You can decide and do a gossip story about how he is mistreating his baby mama. Can Carol consent to have her name and picture used to smear the man as a selfish, terrible person. There are a dozen gossip sites that can damage the reputation of the man. The trick is to try and discredit him as much as possible. Maybe he can lose his marbles.
“Carol, I think we should try and discredit the man as much as possible,” you tell Carol on a Tuesday evening as you drive home, adding, “the trick is to leak information to the gossip sites, carefully, just to tarnish his name...”
She mulls over it, and she wears an uncomfortable facial expression. Carol is painstakingly private. She guards her life like a Hollywood star who spends all her time outside the big screen throwing off the paparazzi.
“See, something has to give. We aren’t using your picture. We just want to put word out there that he is a terrible man, who can’t let the mother of his child even visit the daughter,” you put on your best charm, “we will portray you as a victim of a malicious monied lawyer, the world will always side with underdog.”
She nods along, but not overly enthusiastic. May be she is skeptical if this will really work. “Well, if it will work give it a trial,” she offers. Time to call your journalist friends and pass word around. This is just the beginning.
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