Of snooty USIU students and their fake accents

Chaps I grew together with going to USIU for one semester and, all of a sudden, ‘water’ is ‘wora’ and Oh my God’ is ‘omagaaaar’

USIU chaps act like when they go to the loo, gold comes from their bums. They act like they share classes with Taylor Swift and study on diamond-encrusted desks and their seat cushions are made of skin harvested from koalas.

I met a few friends of mine who attend USIU at a joint in Westlands the other day, over a drink. Foremost, I didn’t even want to go to Westlands (I hate Westlands), but they insisted because, apparently, that’s where all the “cool kids” hang out nowadays.