Men are rarely celebrated

Martin Njihia who runs the Man Enough Programme, a male mentorship unit with Transform Kenya Group, reckons the biggest crisis facing men is about identity.

“Men are questioning themselves, ‘am I man enough?’ and unfortunately, they have let what they watch, money, sex and anything that will make them macho define them leading to great confusion,” he says.

“The money pressure is real. For them to be macho they live in heavy debt, drive the wrong car and live in the long address.”

Where did things go wrong?

When you look to the past, our fathers and grandfathers were hardly trained to raise their children.

The fire place was an important place in the African culture.

This was the place where culture, history and training was passed on.

When our grandfathers were either arrested by the colonialists, went to work for them or went to the forests to fight the colonialists, a generation was raised fatherless!

The baton of fatherhood was not passed on successfully to the next generation.

Research shows that, the quality of masculinity as well as that of femininity is determined by the quality of fatherhood. When that was broken, our fathers had to learn about masculinity and fatherhood through trial and error resulting to a wounded generation, father wounds.

Unfortunately, a wounded person is bound to wound others. And a cycle has been created. Most of our societal problems boil down to a fatherless or mis-fathered generation. This is what Shujaa Dad is trying to correct.

The future of the boy child

A boy wants to grow into his father. A father is a boy’s present mentor and coach in the journey of masculinity. If absent or passive the boy’s identity becomes a crisis in the jungle that life is.

Every boy wants to be called out into manhood by a father or father figure. No matter how much the mother tries to fit into these shoes, they simply can’t!

Men are made amongst men. For single mothers, to the degree that is possible and desirable, the biological father should be involved in his son’s life.

For blended families, balancing between the step father and his biological one could be complicated.. Whatever the case, a mature man should be involved in his son’s life to play the role of a father.

Forty one per cent of mothers in Kenya are single. If Dead Beat Kenya is also anything to go by, the so called real men need to go beyond the extra mile and mentor.

Who is man enough?

One who takes initiative, lives responsibly, leads sacrificially, loves faithfully and keen to leave a legacy behind.

What is the place for sex in a relationship?

Sex is like fire, a good servant but a destructive master. Sex is most men’s top fascination from puberty to his last breath. Most men think about sex more often than they think about food, work and money combined.

Fire out of control burns the house down and consumes the forest that has taken a long time to grow. Wrong sex will always promise more than it can deliver!

Sex is a gift from God that must be utilised well. Men can win this war and attain the creator’s standards, if they rely on the creator’s help.

Men must take the necessary steps to win this war on sexuality! It is war for the soul of masculinity!

Do men need a special day such as International Men’s Day?

Men are rarely celebrated! Being a man is not easy.

Good men ought to be celebrated. What other better way than setting a day aside as an honour. But more importantly, it should be a day for men to look into the mirror and question their identity and masculinity.