Keep your after sex selfies to yourself

Nine reasons aftersexselfies (yes, really, they are a thing now apparently) will definitely lead to the end of civilisation as we know it

1. I didn’t think there was any doubt on this, but obviously it needs clarifying: the selfie itself(ie) was irritating enough. Honestly. Not just being polite here – there was no need to take it even further by inventing a new sub-genre of shamelessly narcissistic photos for strangers to needily over-share with the world. Really, you shouldn’t have.

2. They. Are. gross.

3. There is basically no-one the aftersexselfie wouldn’t offend. They would offend those who are easily offended by stuff, of course, but also singletons, who would find them smug, colleagues and parents, who would find displays of post coital bliss beyond inappropriately TMI… oh, and the other people who wouldn’t be able to bear aftersexselfies would be anyone with any kind of judgement at all. In fact, aftersexselfies would ONLY appeal to sick old pervs and teenage boys, two groups already pretty well catered for on the internet. So aftersexselfies aren’t just cringey and awful, they’re literally superfluous to absolutely everyone on the planet.

4. They just smack of protesting too much, no? As with all social media bragging, if you were really having that good a time you’d be to busy having it to worry about telling everyone you’re having it.

5. Presuming that other people will care when and or if you’ve had sex displays staggering levels of self involvement, even amongst those who take selfies.

6. I know we live in an age where nothing we do in our lives counts for anything unless we have boasted about it on social media to people we’ve never met, but still. Posting photos taken just after you’ve had sex? Seriously? Take a long, hard long at yourselves, aftersexselfiers. Post the funeral selfie craze, there were only a few things left that were too taboo/intimate/sacred/private to post on Instagram, and now there’s one less. Proud of yourselfies?

7. At least nomakeupselfies were for charity – this is just embarrassing showing off that no-one benefits from.

8. If you really need to go to these kinds of lengths to prove that someone’s willing to sleep with you, who exactly are you trying to prove it to?

9. Only someone’s tedious old nan would wonder what’s next and where it will all end – but what’s next, eh? Where will it all end? In a nutshell: I won’t have what she’s having. Stop it. And also, YUCK.

-Mirror