After that divorce, learn to move on...

The phrase ‘what a man can do, a woman can do even better’ has become so common that your average woman on the streets punctuates all her sentences with it.

If you attend any women’s function, this phrase never misses to feature in their speeches. Women never miss an opportunity to shout themselves hoarse reminding the whole world of that phrase.

But it’s all noise. It is until such women are called upon — by circumstances — to step forward and prove that they are indeed worth their salt, that you notice what they are made of.

Doubting? Not long ago a whole professor had to haul the Chief Justice to court over alimony. Imagine! That she had refused to seek employment and resorted to bumming around, expecting to be fed, clothed and taken care of shocked me. Like seriously?

Even as we avoid the merits of any ongoing court action, how about the most recent story where an estranged wife of a certain politician summoned every female activist she could think of and a battery of journalists to her home to whine about alleged squalid conditions her ex-husband had allegedly confined her to. Woman, you are an ex-wife, for crying out loud.

First, she claimed that piped water to the house had been disconnected due to unpaid bills and she had been forced to use dirty pool water for her bathing, cooking and drinking.

Rain water

How much water can one person possibly use, and how much would that really cost? Well, I checked the house and I was astounded the woman didn’t think of collecting rain water from the drainage on the roof, which I dare say would be cleaner and safer to drink than the piped muck that Nairobians are supplied with.

Secondly, the woman claimed that she had been condemned to sleep in darkness after electricity to the house was cut off. Once again, I fail to understand how a woman of her stature didn’t think of installing a solar panel or even using a lantern. Did she have to involve activists and announce to the whole country that her electricity bill had not been settled, and her swimming pool not cleaned for weeks? Jeez!

Make lemonade

I could go on pinpointing many other women who lack independence. What happened to making lemonade when life gives you a sackful of lemons?

It is time women, especially ex-wives, stopped expecting to still lead the kind of life they used to enjoy when things were rosy in their marriages.

The truth is divorce will bring out meanness and resentment in anyone — and that is human nature. Just accept the facts, move on and demonstrate that you are an independent woman.