Micro-blogging company fires top manager for preaching civility

A micro-blogging company has fired a top manager in its Kenyan branch after he had only served the firm for a period of less than one year. No reason was immediately given for his sacking but speculation is already rife as to what could have led to his firing.

One of the reasons being floated is that he was verbally abused by the regional head but instead of insulting back he politely walked away without engaging his senior.

“Calling someone names without them hitting back is no fun,” the regional head is said to have fumed by those who witnessed the incident. “Who do you think you are, going against the tradition and DNA of our company? You are a big letdown you piece of $#!X!”

It has also emerged that the now jobless man was in the months leading to his sacking involved in a campaign advocating for civility by the users of the social media service.

It is said his efforts were beginning to bear fruit and this is what could have spooked his seniors, culminating in his sacking.

“Civility on social media? Are you nuts? The internet is a place of freedom without responsibility!” a senior executive at the micro-blogging service is said to have rebuffed the former manager.

Another reason that could have led to the manager’s sacking is believed to be his action to ‘unfollow’ some of the well-known notorious hate-mongers. For this he was accused of high-handedness and intolerance.

But if the micro-blogging service thought it would earn the love of Kenyans by its move, it was mistaken. Local users of the service immediately engaged their usual tools of trade and started throwing insults and jibes left, right and center while making the idle threat to boycott the service if their fellow countryman was not reinstated.

Abuse people

The local users only calmed down and went back to their usual bashing of each other’s tribes when they were told the man had been fired for not behaving like one of them.

“Ah, what a relief!” exclaimed one user once an explanation had been offered. “He was a traitor going against our culture and traditions. Serves him right!”

But even before the dust had settled, the micro-blogging firm is already making plans to fill the position left by the sacked executive. An advert for the vacant position has already been published in the local dailies.

“Do all your arguments online degenerate into insults and name-calling faster than you can type?” the advert reads. “Does the relative anonymity of the internet mislead you to believe you can abuse people all you want?

Are you completely incapable of engaging in civil discourse? If you were an animal which one would you be... scratch that... if you were a human which one would you be? If this sounds like you, apply now to do something you love – hate.”

Reliable sources confide that part of the interview process will entail exchanging insults and hateful postings with the interviewing panel in keeping with social media traditions.

The only experience required for the job is having used social media for at least a few hours. “Enough time for anyone to get acquainted with the online jungle of venom,” revealed a source who is well acquainted with the process.