Picture imperfect: Why you must stop drooling over your ex’s photos

 Photo: Courtesy

Is it in order to retain photographs from a past relationship once you start dating someone else? Quite a number of people would go ballistic if they discovered that their significant other was still clinging on to a picture of an old flame or any memento from a previous relationship. They would probably demand that he or she get rid of it immediately.

Other people don’t even need the pressure from a new lover to trash all memorabilia of an ex. They do it out of their own will after a breakup, especially if the relationship ended on bad terms. They shred all evidence of the existence of the relationship out of pain. I do not think it is such a bad idea to keep photos of an ex, depending on how serious the relationship was and how important it was to you. For example, your first love. It is great to relish the good old days with an ex beau.

Holding on to a picture of an ex does not necessarily mean that you still harbour feelings for him or her. It is just a part of your history which makes you who you are. The fact that you still have the photos does not indicate that you still want to get back with your ex or that you are not serious about your current relationship. You should keep those photos for the same reason you keep photos of anything.

People keep pictures of their time in school, a vacation they went to, parties they attended and even pictures of old friends they might not even be in contact with. They do this to remember a part of their past. The person you loved and the experiences you had with him or her helped in shaping that past as well. That relationship happened, with the good and the bad included. Discarding the photos simply because they are from a past relationship does not mean it never happened. It is a part of your life that you should not feel pressured to deny or trash.

Every now and then, it is okay to pull them out and get a lovely feeling of fondness for that person who made you happy at that time. They were good times and there is nothing wrong with remembering good times. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is a sentimental person who likes to keep such kind of stuff, you should not feel jealous at all. A mature relationship is not about denial of what happened in the past. Everyone should understand that their current lover had a life before them. There are happy things he or she experienced and did with another person and those are good memories to have.

However, your new love does not need a constant reminder of the person you dated in the past. It is disrespectful to put those pictures on display. The last thing your new beau wants to see is a picture of you and an ex hanging on your wall. You should put them away. If you keep them lying around and look at them regularly, it will not bode well for the success of your present relationship.

@RoxanneKenya