With Muthama in the lead, Cord politicians dance to different tunes

Oh, what a joy to see Johnstone Muthama back in action, working the crowd at Uhuru Park as never before, doing his jig with ease, as though to mock his dancing partners who appeared to be dancing to a different tune, with their stiff displays.

Listening to Muthama, a number of questions raced through the mind: where had he been these past few months, whether he had his pants fixed – after they were torn in a previous protest in Parliament – and if he had finally resolved that little matter back home, which I vaguely remembered entailed a woman drinking water from a pool.

But those thoughts were scattered when Muthama flashed his fly-whisk. I sat to rapt attention as the Machakos senator canvassed his case, which was punctuated by his intimations of nitoboe, nitoboe! (do I tell all)?

So he told all, most of it half-truths, like that line about Prezzo UK “stealing” votes from someone else, before he was installed in power by the court.

Well, the assertion about the Supreme Court ruling in favour of Prezzo UK is correct, which is surprising that a man who benefited from the court process should disregard other court orders.

But that wasn’t Muthama’s argument; his attention span doesn’t last that long. By then, he had – out of the blue – introduced other women, so my visions about a woman or women drawing water from a well in Muthama’s compound was probably true.

So Muthama spoke in that strange manner of his, disjointed as his introductory dance, about two women: Madam Charity, whom Muthama claims was being chased around like a dog in the market, and the new guru of Kenyan politics, one Anne Waiguru, whom Muthama claimed had taken a kiondo loaded with cash, presumably to the same market.

If you can’t quite follow this story, it’s neither your fault, nor mine. I’m only reporting Muthama’s disjointed tale.