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Outspoken female activist Orie Rogo-Manduli says women who date married men are “very stupid leeches and parasites only after the money and property another woman has worked hard to accumulate.”
Orie supports women who choose to stay single, saying that most men are irresponsible.
“Why would a woman want to date the new generation of lazy, broke and nagging men? I don’t need to feed a congregation, I already have my children,” she fumes.
But Cynthia Mugo*, a receptionist at a city firm, says she has no qualms dating a married man because she would give him what his wife cannot offer.
“I knew he was married when we started chatting on Facebook. I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong since I’m not taking him away from his family, but providing everything his wife does not,” says Cynthia, whose needs, including gym and spa treatments every weekend, are generously catered for.
Catherine Mbau, a psychologist at Arise Counselling Centre at KICC, however warns young women that such relationships never last.
“It is true that most married men know how to treat women, but that’s just because all they are looking for is a fling. They are going through mid-life crisis and merely want younger women for kicks. Their first priority will always be their families,” she said.
The psychologist explains that 40 per cent of women are not dating, probably because they are economically well placed and are more mature than men of their age.
“Some of them cannot date men who are not economically empowered. Men also get intimidated by such women,” Mbau explains.
But Professor Okumu Bigamu, a Sociology lecturer at Moi University, blames society for being too business-like and losing its human touch.
“Women who date married men don’t just date any foolish poor man, but one who has means. They are after financial stability and emotional availability, which they can’t find in young, single men who, by nature, are a bit erratic,” he explains.
Prof Bigamu says this money-mindedness is rooted in the way parents encourage their children to take courses that will give them lots of money, not what they love.
- Cate Mukei
