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My wife aborted and I’m desperate for another child

By - | December 8th 2012 at 00:00:00 GMT +0300

My wife and I have been trying to get a second child for six years now without any success. We even tried fertility drugs but to no avail. Several years ago, when our first born was young she conceived but procured an abortion because at the time she did not want another child. I don’t know what is wrong but she is not conceiving. I am thinking about getting another woman who can give me at least one child. I desperately need another child. Please advice...


Your take

Matthew, abortion is illegal and against biblical teaching. I suspect that your wife had a backdoor abortion, which went wrong. Maybe God is punishing you for killing an innocent being. To find healing, you guys first need to repent then go for counselling.

{Outha Onyango  Uduny}

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Abortion is not only illegal in Kenya but it can also result in infertility if not handled professionally. To God, abortion is a sin and it can bring curse to the family. The solution to your problem is not to get another woman. You need to ask God for forgiveness as a couple then take your wife to a specialist for medical check-ups and treatment.

{Alfred Ashikhanga}

Life is sacred and you must never think of terminating it. See a gynaecologist and let him advise you. But I suspect that something went terribly wrong during the abortion. Forgive her and move on for you know the consequences of adultery. You already have a child. Pray to God to give you wisdom to tackle this mess.

{Tasma Charles}

If you make a choice you must be ready to live with the consequences. Her uterus must have been either expelled or completely destroyed. You supported the idea of abortion so you must stand with her through thick and thin. Marrying another woman will only complicate the situation. See a pastor for wise counsel.

{Ouma Ragumo, Sifuyo School}

My take

Matthew, if you have been trying to get another child without success then you ought to consult a doctor to ascertain if there is a problem.

If the doctor discovers that she has some complications, it may or may not be directly attributable to the abortion.

As a couple, your focus should be on fixing the problem, not trying to ascertain the source of the problem.

In case the doctor discovers that she has no problem, you may have to swallow your pride and go for tests.

It takes two people to have a successful conception; so both of you need to undergo thorough medical tests to establish what the problem is.

Getting another woman is not a solution to this problem.

Getting another woman to bear you a child would land you into more problems.

Finally,  how would you feel is you discovered that your wife was toying with the same idea, getting another man to impregnate her?

I am sure you would be crushed and feel betrayed. Well, this is the same way she is bound to react if she discovered what you are up to.

It is every woman’s desire to conceive and give her husband children and when one cannot, then this becomes a source of mental torture and stress. It is already enough that she is not able to conceive — please do not take her through the stress of dealing with another woman in your life. This will break her.        




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