Conjugal rights should be reasonable

Dear Harold,

A reader recently asked whether she could use the law to demand her conjugal rights from her husband, but my predicament is the direct opposite. I am convinced that my husband of three years has turned into a maniac. His demands for sex are excessive to the extent that we engage in heated verbal exchanges.

My valid reasons of having a busy day at work and headaches after spending hours in the traffic jam fall on deaf ears. Moreover, my domestic duties continue on arrival home, as I have to assist our son with his homework and supervise the house help in the kitchen. Of late, my husband has started issuing threats of either leaving me or seeking what he terms a plan ‘B’ (get a mistress or marry a second wife). What can I do?                                                                          Brenda, Nairobi.

Dear Brenda,

First, family law considers excessive demand for sexual rights as cruelty. Conjugal rights should be reasonable. In determining such a case, courts often refer to the case of Holborn vs Holborn (1947) where a wife was granted divorce following excessive demands for conjugal rights by her husband. According to the judge, the husband was cruel and lacked consideration for his wife, which made her withdraw from cohabitation.

Secondly, if the plan ‘B’ your husband refers to means sex out of marriage then his act would amount to adultery. On the other hand, marrying another wife while your marriage subsists would amount to bigamy, an offence that attracts five years imprisonment.