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Sitting 'preety' the Miguna way, while waiting for volcano build-up in a book

By | March 2nd 2012 at 00:00:00 GMT +0300

BY PETER KIMANI

The last time I heard Miguna Miguna, the former advisor at PM Tinga’s office, he was "sitting preety" telling his now familiar story on Citizen TV: He had delivered his "tell-all" book to some undisclosed publisher, and it was a matter of time before Kenyans got a hold of this unputdownable book.

In a country where citizens are weaned on the politics of siri (secret) from serikali (Government) men and, increasingly, women, I suspect Miguna was waiting for the chants of Toboa! Toboa! (tell us! tell us!) from the TV viewers.

That did not happen, at least not on my TV set, but that did not whittle down the appetite for Miguna’s telling that his book, if we are to trust his word, is going to be volcanic, a volcano or a combination of both, which somehow matches the musicality to his name.

I was about to despair, given that his regular TV appearances, wearing a silly hat, can be tiring, especially if we are routinely fed with that compendium of inanities: I worked for Tinga like a dog (well, every dog has to have a master); he used to call me Janyando (so what?).

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Alternately, he would be on national TV whining that his letter lifting his suspension was signed by his junior, blah blah blah.

But alas! Miguna was about to lift his hat to release the rabbit – the much talked about book was... almost out. Let’s focus on Miguna’t hat for a moment. He says it is his mystique, much the same way Chief Justice Man Willy dons his stud – is it on the right or left ear?

It was an innocent comparison, I could gather from Miguna’s easy composure on TV. He did not intend to make it sound as though he was comparing himself with CJ Willy. After all, CJ Willy is just another man, only that he wears a stud on his right or left ear.

cold feet

Now I’m developing fresh respect for the man. Yes, Miguna is back in the news still... talking about his much-awaited book! This time he has offered the manuscript to another publisher because the first publisher, Miguna says, somehow developed cold feet because Miguna’s volcano-laden volcanic book might, yes, do what volcanoes do, and perhaps rival the volcano devastation last reported somewhere in Goma in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

That change of hands of Miguna’s manuscript from this little known wimpy publisher in Nairobi to another in US made some seismic shifts on the face of the earth: The story earned a page splash treatment in national papers.

Such is the latent power of this volcano of a book. Where writers struggle to find a five-inch column titled ‘New Releases’ (even the book titles are not provided), Miguna’s anticipated book is front-page news when he changes publishers.

I hesitate to comment on Miguna’s second choice of publisher, some obscure sounding outfit called World Net Daily (WND). A simple search on the Internet will tell you who they are, and what kind of business they are in.

online criticism

Rather, what intrigues me is Miguna’s response to the barrage of online criticism over his choice of publisher. He invokes the names of individuals alleged to have dealt with the WDN of their time: Jomo Kenyatta of Kenya; Kwame Nkurumah of Ghana and Fredrick Douglass of the US.

Obviously, Miguna does not equate himself to them; that would be delusional. The masters of illusion are at WND, where his volcanic book is getting lava dressing, before the much-awaited mind-blast.

Why inflation can only go up at Ngara High and its environs

I have a personal interest in Ngara. That’s where people catch matatus to the place I call shags, and once gave my mother the fright of her life when, as a minor in the 1980s, made my way there and boarded a shags-bound matatu.

It was during the Easter holidays when rains fell without fail, and Safari Rally detoured through the ridge. I knew I would get some good thrashing upon my return (then I didn’t know about the Children’s Act) but that did not dissuade me from making the unauthorised trip.

These days, I’m equally interested in Ngara because we buy vegetables at the market, and I’m encouraged by news that inflation is down, which means food prices are getting lower.

But some parents in Ngara are complaining things are getting elephant for them, even as the food prices come down. Parents say some Sh44,000, was loaded on top of the annual Sh42,000 annual fees. The extra cash is for the construction of a dorm, while Sh5,000 is simply lumped as "development fee."

That’s not the problem, though. Parents say the school-head has violated her pledge not to send any child home over dorm fees. Now even Form Four students cannot register for national examinations before clearing all dorm-development arrears.

I suspect these are exaggerations from parents, for no school administrator would dare do such a thing, especially when Government banned such practices in this era of free education. Or perhaps Ngara Girls have already introduced the proposed 1-2-3 or 4-5-6 system.

Journey is the destination for new parties with fairly old faces

Martha Karua has unveiled a new Mkoa (province), just as Prezzo was getting into a foul mood over MPs’ suggestions that Provincial Administration report to county governors.

But Martha’s province is virtual. In fact, Mkoa is the acronym for Martha Karua Online Army. When I checked yesterday, it had about 100 hits, which means it has enormous room to grow.

And grow it should given the optimism reflected in some of the posts:

One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest

The site is defined as "a page for those that believe in the beauty of their dreams..." I rather like the sound Mkoa. But I like Poa more. The latter stands for Party of Action that Raphael Tuju launched.

I’m torn between Poa and mbas, the party that Kiraitu Murungi and others formed recently, and which was actively promoted by Mapambano man Otieno Kajwang last month.

I like the sound of mbas. It’s original, unpretentious, and all it aspires is to ferry people from point A to point B. There is no guarantee of safety, of course, nor fares being hiked mid-way. Just get on the mbas to mkoa and you will be poa (cool)!


MIGUNA BOOK Raila Odinga
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