Men confessions - Why we keep side chicks

Mipango ya kando or side chicks is normally thought to be associated with loaded men who can afford to” sponsor” another woman or girl other than the wife. Indeed, many people understand that keeping a side chick comes with extra responsibilities and at many a time, the expenses of such an endeavor far supersedes that of maintaining a wife. However, men being men would always agitate to have an “extra” woman in their lives. Take James Ochieng for instance, a resident of Mowlem estate in Nairobi who despite being married to his wife, Gladys openly explains to the Standard on why he maintains a side-chick besides his wife of ten years. Interestingly, Ochieng who works in a car wash near Mama Lucy Kibaki hospital claims that his side woman who lives in Umoja 2 is well known to his wife. “My wife knows my mpango wa kando and she has no problem with it” he claims. Asked on how this is possible, Ochieng informs the Standard that at first, his wife used to be rough when she knew about his escapades. She did not want to hear anything about my side chick and she could take her phone and insult her with unprintable names. “In fact, it reached a point that we had to separate because of this side chick issue”. He continues to reveal that “as much as she did not want to hear about that she was the one who influenced it in the first place. She could at times “keep me dry” for almost a month when we were not in good terms in the name of punishing me, so I had to find someone to satisfy my urges”. Ochieng continues to explain that leaving that woman has become a problem “since my wife cannot do what she does, I tell you that woman will make you feel like you are a real man” he discloses. However, despite the wife going back to her parent’s home in Nyando because of these issues, she had to eventually come back to her husband “since life did not turn out as she expected”. Ochieng who accepted her back anyway because she is the mother of her 6 year boy later learnt that she has been advised back at home that “that is the nature of men, and that you cannot win on their proactive” says Ochieng adding that “she came back a transformed lady with no many questions”. He continues that his wife is the one who informs him to always wear a condom so that “not to bring in STDs”.Asked on how he maintains the two women financially, Mr. Ochieng however is cagy on this query from the Standard and only says “hapo sasa iyo ni siri yangu”. Mr., Justus Mwanzia who lives in Dandora Estate shares similar sentiments on why he has to see another woman despite being a family man. According to him, his wife is kisirani, and has a habit of suspecting him even when he tries to be a faithful husband. “I am telling you it is pointless to live a faithful life when your wife knows that all men are dogs” he tells the Standard adding that “whether you are clean or tainted is the same thing to a woman”. Mr. Mwanzia whose main source of income comes from mending and ironing other people’s clothes in Dandora slum explains on why he chose that path by asking us this question; “why should I be any different if all men are womanizers?” Interestingly, Mwanzia got his mpango in his makeshift ironing room where she had come to have her clothes mended. He reports that it is the woman, who is surprising married that made the move. “Imagine a woman coming to your place of work, removing her blouse and telling you to mend it as she squats at the backend of your room, waiting for you to finish mending her clothes while half naked, can any man sustain this temptation?” He asks. Mwanzia continues to disclose that after the woman did this three times, he could not sustain this anymore and he had to give in to her demands. However, Mwanzia states that he is careful his wife does not know these escapades “lest she shows her madness and cause trouble”Mwanzia claims that she has never given the other woman a coin since what she wants is sexual satisfaction. ‘The woman has a husband so I am not financially responsible for anything” he says adding that “in fact if he asks me any money then we would have to end this relationship since I don’t have any at the moment”For Mr. Ainea Wafula who currently lives in Kariobangi estate, his reason of having a side-chick is a way of “taking risks”. “What if you fall out with your wife and she decides to go? He asks adding, “women are unpredictable and as such I must have plan B”. Mr. Wafula who claims to be a “hustler” (he does mjengo and such type of works) says that although he does not earn much, he has to contribute something to his side-chick when gets something from his casual work. “My wife has no problem since she is a teacher and hence; she can take care of the basic expenses in the house” he reveals. Nonetheless, Wafula is frank that the wife doesn’t know anything about his mpango. He also does not go there when broke. Wafula also claims that when he has money, he prefers visiting his mpango who lives in the nearby Dandora estate to “relax and refresh himself”. “My wife cannot even massage me when I need such services badly but if I bumper my side chick can do it as long as I bumper her” he states.

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