Ladies, it is a trap: Freebies will land you in hot soup

 There is nothing for free [Photo: Courtesy]

I’m a law-abiding citizen. I pay my taxes, I never steal, and I try to live as faithfully as it is manly possible.I understand that Kenya is a free country. I am free to live and work anywhere as the constitution outlines.

Sometimes I want to walk around Nairobi at night and visit every dark alley. Just for adventure. You know, walk down River Road with my phone and valuables, because I know the police are working. 

Sometimes I want to leave my house open, knowing that if burglars came for the TV and the laptops, they will be arrested, and the police will call me to apologise for the inconvenience as they hand me back my electronics.

But society works differently. If I go downtown, at night (and increasingly during the day) there is a high likelihood, that I will be mugged, knifed or even killed.

 I can’t leave my house open despite paying taxes and private security, because despite the mitigating measures, thugs can still break into my house and chances of getting my goodies back are slim.

Still as a man, if I go to a club and approach a strange woman because she has boobs I want to suckle and thighs I want to plant my teeth into furi furi, she throws herself at me, and I buy into her wily charm and I carry her into my bachelor’s pad and she drugs me, and steals everything, I am solely responsible for my actions.

I would wish that the woman was arrested and brought to book, but the law works differently.

I may or may not tell my male friends. They would be sorry, but they will also laugh at me, for not taming my lust.

Women are not precluded from these hazards of life. In the recent times, there have been rising cases of femicide that have gripped the nation.

A local daily ran a photo of women who have been killed. The women were linked to powerful men in society and their deaths were because of their association with the men.

A male friend accused the newspaper of elitism. Several women are raped and killed in the village by their irate husbands, but rarely do they get headline treatment from our local dailies. And for a reason.

Elite women don’t want to be accountable for their actions. They forget being female does not preclude them from common-sensical self-discipline.

They think because of their education, their access to cable TV, they can get away with deviance. Not even men get away with deviance on account of their gender.

This is not to say that they deserved their deaths. Nobody should kill and I hope one day we will live in a society where nobody kills a fellow human being for whatever reason.

But one thing we must teach our daughters is that every choice they make has a direct consequence.

They must know that men are beasts, and treat every man, including male relations and even fathers, with due caution.

I’m often surprised that in 2018, there are women who accept invitations for drinks, then accompany a man to his place, jump into bed with the man, and then claim the following day that they were raped.

Mind you the two adults were drunk, but a man is supposed to control himself.

I have written here that as a woman, you have no business accepting a man’s drinks if you don’t think you can sleep with him.

There is no such a thing as free beer anywhere in the world. If you must go, have some money of your own for Uber and make sure your phone is charged. Don’t make assumptions.

Alcohol drinking has so many hazards and I really wish our women can go slow on the drink. It is my wish that men would not take advantage of drunk women, but that is not how the world works. It is going to take us time before we can fix that.

Until then, let’s teach our daughters that prevention is better than cure. Nothing good takes place in a club after 1 a.m. 

Dating a sponsor is a death wish, from the sponsor himself or the wife. Bad boys are not good, however good the thrill. They should shun material stuff and live within their means. This is not misogyny. It is common sense. 

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