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Campus Vibe
Guys in campus don’t date —we have sexual relationships
By Collins Osanya | Updated Feb 16, 2018 at 07:38 EAT
Guys in campus don’t date
  • There are dudes who are in financial relationships with their campus girlfriends
  • University girls are not pieces of chewing gum on the shelf of your university canteen

I’m a petty fellow. Small things like campus boys who refer to ladies through unkempt phrases such as: ‘hiyo kitu iko na haga bigi ni ya Mbagz lakini Ontis anakulanga,’ or ‘hii nyama inapita wasee wengi wamedishi,’ annoy me. Man!? Who raised you? Are your manners in your scrotum?

University girls are not pieces of chewing gum on the shelf of your university canteen. Much as they need prayers, they deserve respect if and when you want to be in a relationship with them.

And speaking of relationships, which is the best thing after ignorance that we, Kenya’s future, are experts on, I point out; being in a relationship differs from dating. I know dudes who are in financial relationships with their campus girlfriends. 22 -year-old man barters sex for pesa ya chakula, pombe even cigarettes. Tell me, don’t we all know these trouser sagging big babies in the second year who are baby seated by third and fourth year girls?

Then we have pretty daughters of God including light skins who are stuck to funny funny guys. The sort that believes chewing miraa, soliciting multiple casual sex, smoking bang all day. These sisters of ours are in an emotional relationship. They have daddy issues. Disremember that propaganda of an ex with a Goliath-sized sword dangling in his boxers or try explaining the biology behind a hot girl who keeps going back to her unfaithful boyfriend. Is it bilharzia or adaptation?

In a nutshell, guys on campus don’t date. We have sexual relationships. We have seasonal flings that begin with lust, get fuelled by curiosity, and find advancement through self-gratification (sorry Maranda guys. The noun isn’t self-explanatory) then end when lust directs your eyes to another possible lover. Even a fool will think thrice before dating a dude who quietly refers to her by saying, ‘nimeacha kitu yangu ya KU kejani.’

Couples who date are serious. They are faithful. They know each other’s parents and family. Their shared life is based on maturity, selflessness, and understanding. They wait for months before having sex. And they keep the pregnancy. They understand that when the third piece in a pack of a condom is being used, the relationship is swaggering towards marriage. Okay, assuming you read all these and you are ‘dating’, are you certain you’d want to marry the fornicator you fornicate with?

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