Let us flashback to when Harold was the supreme leader of Gitegi, dripping with corruption and weighed down by scandals. Thirsty for alcohol and fine women, both of which ruined our lives at the brown house.
Harold makes a decision: when a stranger offers aid to the village, Harold says that what we need is a 32-inch Android HD LED TV. The perplexed visitor, who is grateful the wild animals of Gitegi did not tear him into smithereens and make goulash out of him, delivers the TV.
The executive is happy. The Judiciary, not quite. This TV is used to watch Arsenal lose matches every weekend, with Chelsea quickly replacing them when fortunes look up for the former.
Oftentimes, we catch the latest Gengetone hit, which guides Harold’s sermons, and on a few incidents chance upon national politicians dishing out their finest commodity: propaganda.
The Executive, with its power, often oversteps its mandate. A disjointed Legislature swears allegiance to the corrupt Harold, and when he says the sky is indigo in colour, they clap and applaud.
Financiers such as Sue are beholden to Harold because blood is thicker than their brains.
And my Judiciary is, you must have listened to Chief Justice Emeritus Maraga, underfunded. Criminally so, and therefore execution of justice here is a pipe dream.
One evening, even before the TV is delivered, I confront Harold. "One of a leader's foremost qualities is selflessness. You wanted a TV but the village did not need one," I tell him.
He gurgles down his soup, sizes me up, and slaps his palm on the table.
"If you do not want to watch, simply close your eyes," he says. "There is a reason I was asked what we wanted and you were not."
My judges can rule against Harold's decisions. It happens often. But Harold will laugh at us with disdain, ignore court orders, use his finest puppets to insult the Judiciary, and then cut our access to the little resources we ever got.
Had we a concrete budget that comes from an exchequer, you can be sure we would take home peanuts, or no nuts at all.
Because a disgruntled Harold then makes it clear that he is boss and the Judiciary is just a figment of our imagination, and is there only because he has mutilated the Constitution way too much to risk completely rubbishing it by removing the Judiciary.
When he appointed Githendu as a watchman at HAHA, I protested. He ignored me. I fought against Clarissa joining Sue's team. Harold did not see any illegality. He ignored me.
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I have nulled and voided many of his decisions. He smirks at me and assumes no one is talking.
If he today appointed 50 Chefs Attending Strangers (CAS), which would be unconstitutional and with poorly defined roles, and our Judiciary complained about it and ruled it as an illegality; I bet he would still go ahead to work with them because the Judiciary is here to be seen not to be felt.