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VAS

I will be a little selfish, if only for today

SUNDAY MAGAZINE
By Anne Mukei | October 24th 2021

A woman relaxes in bed. [Getty Images]

It was always “okay” for me. I cannot remember the number of times I would murmur, “It’s okay.”

One day I said the usual and a friend firmly said, “No, it’s not okay. It is a high time you learnt to speak up for yourself. You don’t have to put up with something that does not augur well with you.”

That was the day I carefully started thinking things through before “okaying” them. That is the day I started putting myself first.

It has been a treacherous journey.

It has been painful for me to say “No” to what I do not deem fine, but it has been worth it.

Life places on each and every one of us a series of demands from a pretty early age. It expects us to do this and that, and to do it right ? often irrespective of how we feel, or what we want.

While we get to do what is expected, we find that we are left burnt out. We lose ourselves, neglect our needs and wants and become slaves, just to please others, to get the job done.

Then we discover that we are resentful, bitter and angry. We find that we are always making others happy yet our own souls are aggrieved, unfulfilled.

Here is how to be a little selfish, happier and self-fulfilled

• Know when to say “No.” You can help a little here and there but you cannot save the entire world.

• Know when to say enough is enough. Yes, be selfish enough to voice it out to your friend or relative that you can play host for two days, but a week is certainly a tall order.

• Consider yourself as being worthy of stuff. If you cannot have it then why should anyone else? Start gifting yourself. Treat this as a priority and not as a by the way. Do it consciously, and not just after you have paid all your bills.

• Maintain healthy relationships by being selfish when the need demands. Often, we keep unhealthy relationships because we are busy making excuses for the other party’s ill-treatment of us. This only leaves us with hard feelings and feeling drained.

• Take care of yourself. Pamper yourself, be busy with yourself. Be selfish such that you do not always have to perform tasks in a rush. Wake up in good time to allow yourself time to dress and have that leisurely breakfast. Spare time to watch the sunrise and set.

• Spare time for that famous Me Time. While at it, feel free to switch off your phone or even have it on silent mode. Is it the right time to answer that call? You know you do not have to do it now, right?

• Be selfish enough to ditch the rules and stay in your pajamas all day long as you lounge on your unmade bed.

• Be selfish enough to live like no one is going to judge you. Because they will, anyway!

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