Tough decisions help build character

Not long ago, I made a decision that was necessary.

Though crucial, it had taken me a long time to resolve; there had been quite a bit of agonising days, weeks and months. Over that time, my standards had been compromised, my joy taken away, and often, I had questioned whether I had any semblance of self-worth and love left in me.

After things calmed down,  I recall telling my older son that the situation would change when I had enough of the rather unsavoury outbursts.

The day to get rid of the rubbish was finally here, and I enjoyed so much peace I had no doubt I was making the right decision.

My special menfolk were in agreement that it was about time. They say that males are able to think without getting emotional. That helped.

I stopped punishing myself over why it had taken so long to rectify the situation.

I wondered why I had to put up with so much garbage.

I now know that I could not have done it earlier or later. It happened at just the right time — not a minute or day longer.

Akin to what women go through when giving life. In as much as they may be tired from the nine months of morning sickness, nausea and extra weight, the newborn will not be birthed until the time is right.

Labour will only come calling when the biological process is complete.

Today I swim in a sea of peace. There is a certain joy that I feel, in equal measure to all the torture and torment I went through.

This is not the first time it has taken me long to make painful decisions.

I know there are many out there who also take time to make important decisions in life.

This is quite in order. As you deliberate and agonise, change, healing, growth and evolution are going on in your heart and mind and even body.

You see, life does whatever is necessary to mould us into shape and prepare us for greatness.

Sadly, it does not always look or feel this way.

Instead, what we experience in life seems difficult, painful and unnecessary — especially when the spot you are in is dark and tight and uncomfortable.

However, when you look back, you realise that it was essential.

To paraphrase Lyanla Vanzat in “Faith in the Valley,” it is a great day when you change your mind about who you are and what your role is in the world order, because then you are responsible for the healing of your physical, emotional and spiritual self. Then you evolve to the point you are no longer willing to accept foolishness from yourself or from anyone else.