Another week of politics, Kenya style

The biggest global story right now is the embarrassment caused to the US government by Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. His tranche of encrypted emails hacked from US government servers across the globe have been leaked and it’s amusing the way America thinks its ‘friends and allies’ are scum bugs.

In Kenya, though, it’s business as usual. On the whole, the charade is boring because there is little that the US envoy to Nairobi can say about our leaders that we don’t know. Maybe, Assange would have done us a favour if he leaked secret wire taps of all phone calls made by senior politicians before, during and after the botched 2007 election.

Fortunately, Amb Elkana Odembo, our man in Washington, will call a press conference and lambast the US government for, er, pardon the pun, leaking all over the place and attempting, in Dr Alfred Mutua’s words, to topple our half-loaf Government.

Still, we have been too busy getting entertained by our own political shenanigans — and they are legion - to pay much heed to these American leaks.

For starters, sceptics have been wondering why Sonko spent a couple of days in the slammer because he couldn’t raise a mere Sh1.5 million bond. Come on now, people — be serious. Money doesn’t grow on trees.

Others are wondering why the same CID that gave him a certificate of good conduct is now hounding him for jumping bail, which is rubbish. Since when did jumping bail constitute bad conduct? Politicians exchange verbal and physical blows — which is not very good conduct — all the time. Who complains?

But I loved the way manner Sonko’s supporters besieged the court, marched on a police station and swam in some murky, germ infested waters outside the law courts in Kibera. All the jokers itching to be president in 2012 take note: If you can’t raise supporters who love you as much, shut up.

Meanwhile, the proposed 80 new constituencies gerrymander on. We still don’t know who is right or what is going to happen and what’s more, I suspect we don’t really care.

But what is certain is that there are certain people who don’t want former LSK Chairman, Ahmednassir Abdulahi, anywhere near the proposed Judicial Service Commission. They had better be armed because the straight talking lawyer — he was quoted describing an adversary as "scum of the earth" in a letter — will return very heavy fire, most of it well below the belt.

Speaking of which, does anyone know whether Nyanza politicians who lied that they would face the cut really got circumcised? A Wikileak of that and those who traffic the narcotics that we pretend are ‘alcoholic’ by calling them madawa ya kulevya would be very helpful, too.