Drama as prison warder poops on the dance floor

By Antony Gitonga

The packed bodies dancing to various styles, the laughter, the frenzy, the sweat and the loud music did little to assist tens of drunkards staggering and muttering under their breaths.

In the centre of it all, a good looking but scantly dressed woman swayed her hips provocatively becoming the center of attraction. To many men who could not dare join in the dance, they watched, dreamt and drifted back to years when no such lady would cause them such panic and anxiety.

Unperturbed by the roving eyes, the teenager danced even harder as nearby, a 50-year-old man tried to undo her using the archaic twist style. In a dark corner, two lovers cuddled and once in a while kissed deeply unperturbed by the booming music and heat.

At the corner, a middle aged man with his tie hanging loosely had a hard time differentiating between a Sh50 and a Sh500 note. He would tilt it to the light, return it to the pocket, and search for it again before repeating the whole exercise again and again.

And in burst three drunkards who headed straight to the floor excited and eager to show what they could do. From their looks and actions, it was obvious that they were uniformed officers as one of them kept standing upright and saluting in his new found dancing style.

one too many

One of them was too drunk and had a problem coordinating his body movement and would let his arms fly all over as he tried to dance.

To many this was the norm in entertainment joints based in Naivasha town. Patrons entered while others left either in twos or staggered alone. But on this day, drama was to unfold to those left behind.

Despite the loud music and sweating bodies, a foul smell engulfed the dancing floor moving fast from one corner to the next.

A couple kissing nearby stopped to enquire where the smell was coming from! The drunkard with the Sh50 note sobered up while the hip-swaying-cute-looking girl held her nose unsure if someone had farted or removed his stinking shoes.

But alas, next to the floor, one of the ‘salute-dancing’ officers was squatting on the floor and relieving himself to the shock of the crowd. And first it seemed like a bad dream to many who started laughing and pointing at him before the full reality hit them.

"Ngai, huyu msee ana pupu kwa floor (This man is answering the call of nature on the dance floor)," screamed one of the waiters.

The warder unperturbed by the screams and shouts went ahead to relieve himself on the floor. According to witnesses, the warder unzipped his trousers coolly before squatting and answering to the call of nature.

spoiling the fun

A bouncer who tried to stop him from soiling the floor came into too late as the ‘first delivery’ was already on the floor. His two colleagues had earlier tried to stop him from undressing, but he was either too drunk or too pressed to hold it.

Despite the toilets being only about ten metres away, the warder spoilt the fun of many including the lovers and the hip-swaying girl. After what seemed like an eternity, the poor-drunk-soul sought for a tissue paper and unable to find one he shook his head and wore his pants and moved away.

"Sasa nani atachukua hii kinyesi yote (Now who will clean the floor)?" pondered one of the patrons.

But after a few minutes of arguing, a junior worker with disgust on his face cleared up the floor before revellers resumed with their dancing. After the incident, witnesses said that the bouncers were keen on anyone squatting even if it was while dancing.