Seven things that will happen if Mourinho really does bring Mesut Ozil to Manchester United

 

/COURTESY

A rumour linking Mesut Ozil with a free transfer move to Manchester United next summer suddenly emerged from the Arsenal star's homeland on Wednesday, and in many ways it kind of makes sense.

According to the Mirror, Mourinho managed Ozil at Real Madrid, there is a clear mutual respect between the two of them, and it might just be a deal that suits all parties. All parties except Arsenal, of course.

But what would really happen if this transfer goes through?

Here are the seven thing:

1. Manchester United fans would immediately regret a *lot* of tweets they've sent over the years

2. Ozil would go from being seen as a lazy, luxury player to a Mourinho-type workhorse overnight, even growing a couple of inches somehow

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3. United fans would suddenly become obsessed with "pre-assists" - (it's the assist before the assist, yeah, and Ozil is great at them, does them all the time, ask literally any Arsenal fan and they'll tell you. At length.)

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4. Affected by the loss of one of the players they enjoy ranting about the most, Arsenal Fan TV's viewing figures suffer a severe drop

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5. After giving his number 9 shirt up for Zlatan Ibrahimovic last summer, Anthony Martial will have to hand over his number 11 shirt too

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6. Back at Arsenal - where they're also set to lose Alexis Sanchez on a free transfer next summer as it stands - Arsene Wenger's attempts to claim that everything is "FINE! JUST FINE!" would leave him coming across like Comical Ali

/COURTESY

7. And having got another one over his old nemesis, Mourinho's broad, smug smile would be even broader and smugger than usual

/COURTESY

 

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