Why do I keep falling for the same bad boy pattern?

Bad guys attract women by showing how competitive, dominant, risk-taking and assertive they are (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris!

I’d like to date someone dependable and kind, but instead I always seem to end up with one of the bad guys! Why am I so unlucky?

Bad Guys

Chris says,

Hi Bad Guys!

It’s easy to fall for a bad guy because they’re so confident and bold.

Probably that’s because in the past, women needed fearless men to protect them and their children. Even today, going for a brave man works well because all the activities that bring wealth and status are inherently risky.

There are plenty of courageous and kind guys who’ll stick around, though, while the bad guys are bold and selfish. Brash enough to seduce you, but quickly bored as soon as he’s had his wicked way with you. And heading off to look for another conquest.

So everyone knows that kind guys are a much better bet for a long-term partner. But deep down, a thrusting but selfish man’s always going to be much more exciting! And there’d be no bad guys if girls always gave them the brush-off. But they don’t. So why do girls let them get away with it? 

It’s because subconsciously every woman wants sexy sons! She wants the genes that made his father so attractive to be passed on to his sons and give her lots of grandchildren! Which is why the bad guys tend to win out. 

They’re outrageous, and yet sought after by so many women. Risk-taking, competitive and promiscuous, they’re confident, stand tall, move easily and gaze unashamedly at everyone. They push people around and don’t smile much. Especially at other men. The good guys attract women by showing they’re going to be good fathers, because they’re compassionate, kind, and industrious. The bad guys attract women by showing how competitive, dominant, risk-taking and assertive they are.

So what should you do? Well, first of all, admit to yourself that you like being sought out by those dominant, sexy men. And then consciously choose not to date them. Only date guys who’re courageous and kind. Then you’ll have better luck in future.

All the best,

Chris