Is dating someone at work really as risky as everyone says?

Don’t date your boss or anyone who’s married. And check how your organisation views couples working in the same office (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris!

I’ve started having feelings for a guy at work and I’m really tempted to start flirting with him. But all my friends tell me that office relationships are a bad idea. Is that true? 

Working Date

Chris says,

Hi Working Date!

Loads of people have had an office romance, and they can be a great deal of fun.

That’s because you already know a lot about the people you work with. Whether they’re available, what makes them laugh, what they’re like once they’ve had a glass or two, and how they cope with awkward colleagues. And with a difficult ex!

Companies also choose employees to fit into the corporate culture, and that makes them a bit like a dating agency. Because it means that work colleagues tend to have similar interests, attitudes and values, which increases the chances of a successful relationship.

There are risks, though. Like everyone will know you’re dating, because colleagues are incredibly sensitive to such things. They’ll be happy for you, though, as long as you’re playing by the rules. 

Because a lot of office romances don’t. Some are extramarital affairs, which leave colleagues feeling caught in the middle. And dating the boss can become a huge issue. Many organisations transfer or fire boss/lover couples who’re discovered. The issue is the power imbalance. So even if a lover’s promotion is well deserved, it’s never seen like that.

Break-ups are also a problem. Having to work with an ex every day can be miserable and often brings out the worst in people. Like allegations of sexual harassment frequently start with what the other person says was a consensual relationship.

So don’t date your boss or anyone who’s married. And check how your organisation views couples working in the same office.

Above all, be discreet. Don’t get caught snogging on the security cameras, make sure that you’re both still seen as individuals at work, and never carry a fight that started at home into the office! 

But other than that, go for it! Dating an attractive colleague can be the start of a wonderful relationship.

All the best,

Chris