12 days of intimacy to explore this season

12 days of intimacy to explore this season (Photo: iStock)

During the holidays, couples can purposefully explore different forms of intimacy in ways that everyday life rarely allows.  According to consultant psychologist James Bosse, when intimacy is nurtured, people feel secure, bonded, supported, and hopeful. He states that it is not a single act but a collection of experiences that enhances a relationship.

Physical intimacy: Build attachment, safety, closeness and reassurance through acts such as holding hands, hugging, caressing, kissing, cuddling, massaging or gentle touch.

Emotional intimacy: Sharing feelings and active listening allow partners to feel seen and trusted and build a feeling of security that strengthens their bond. 

Aesthetic intimacy: Appreciate art, décor, nature, and other forms of beauty in life together. You can enjoy the soft setting sun, stargaze, admire a painting, visit places of nature, read a captivating novel or poetry aloud to each other, and talk about these things and what they mean for both of you.  

Experiential intimacy: Try out life experiences together. Cooking, attending events, going on a trip, taking up a hobby, embarking on new adventures, and even learning new skills as a pair.

Intellectual intimacy: Playing board games, doing puzzles, doing scrabble, playing chess, debating ideas, learning something new and reading together keep the connection mentally alive.

Creative intimacy: Indulge in artistic activities as a way to increase relationship satisfaction. For lovebirds who enjoy imagination, it leaves room for expression through art, writing, dance, décor and other creative projects.

Self-intimacy: Know more about yourself, connect with yourself, honour your feelings, and be true to yourself. Practise self-love, journaling, reflection, rest, buying yourself flowers, and honouring boundaries.

 Spiritual intimacy: Finds its place through mutual values, deep conversations about life’s purpose, meditation and faith practices. James notes that this is one of the hardest elements of intimacy for lovebirds.  

 Work intimacy: Collaborate on a project or a business if they have aligned goals, interests and strengths and build something beautiful out of it.

 Conflict intimacy: Conflict, too, can be intimate. It involves disagreeing respectfully while staying connected. It builds resilience and conflict resolution skills.

 Digital intimacy: Whether you are physically close to your partner or worlds apart, you can nurture your bond through consistent video calls, voice calls, recorded messages, leaving voicemails, sending handwritten notes and sending postcards.

Communication intimacy: The centre of a relationship. Understand each other’s verbal and non-verbal communication and actively listen to each other.