I'm done swiping! How can a shy girl like me find love offline?

I'm done swiping! How can a shy girl like me find love offline? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

Everyone says the internet is the best place to find a date, but I’ve only had bad experiences with the men I’ve met online. So, I’d like to start meeting people in real life.

But I don’t really know how to do that these days! I’m also quite shy, so I’m not sure where to begin.

In Real Life

Chris says,

Hi In Real Life!

Get into the mood by joining your colleagues for a quick drink after work. They’ll have great friends, so take the opportunity to meet them. If someone offers to set you up on a date, go for it! The chances are your friends will know people you’ll like.

Go to any events that your friends are planning to attend, as this is a good way to venture slightly outside your comfort zone without being completely on your own.

Become a regular somewhere, too. Once you’ve become really comfortable in your favourite coffee shop or bookstore and are on familiar terms with the staff, you’ll find you have the confidence to talk to people you meet there. Next time you see someone interesting reading a book you like, strike up a conversation with them about it.

Almost everything nice that happens to you will start with a conversation with a stranger. Develop the habit of talking to people you don’t know. Practice with waiters and shop assistants, take a class or find some voluntary work, whether career-oriented or charitable. If you choose something you enjoy and care about, you’ll find yourself among like-minded individuals.

Above all, spend more time alone. You’ll be much more likely to talk to people you don’t know, and they’ll be more likely to talk to you. Take a book or magazine with you to help you get started, and just have a cup of coffee to begin with. Don’t stare at your phone — it’s off-putting! Instead, look around and before you know it, you’ll be chatting to someone new!

All the best,

Chris