Bad bachelor: Black book from 2019 escapades

Three days ago, bored out of my skull, I began to fantasise about my conquests in 2019 (Shutterstock)

I’ve been in self isolation for the last two weeks, and I am now fully recovered. No, not from Covid-19, but because of that other issue I told you about a fortnight ago (if you didn’t read about it, tough titty pretty kitty, because I don’t feel like talking about it at all).

If you’re here for the first time, I’m Art Amacho, early 30s, six-foot tall and single, likes to mingle, and maybe one day will press ‘pause’ long enough on my active dating life to get a wife.