Bunge Chronicles: MPs cry out for freedom and chance to hug

Jubilee MPs celebrate after passing the Security Amendment bill at Parliament. [Boniface Okendo, Standard]

Tuesday for our wahesh of the National Assembly felt like school opening day. Fresh from recess, they were itching to apprise each other of their mischief. But there was no one to tell of all their escapades--well, no one close enough.

The country is open, the curfew is history. People can once again feel each other’s warmth inside public transport. Everyone else is free except our wahesh, who are still bound by laws that say they can’t come too close to each other.

To the chosen few, rewarded for their loyalty with seats in the front benches, such don’t matter much. They don’t need much company. They have money and the perks that come with leadership as consolation. Life is different in the backbenches where the company is cherished. Mob psychology reigns. Covid-19 destroyed all that.

Former Majority Leader Aden Duale, who found a home in the backbench last year, longs for the good old life, as do his colleagues. “Mr Speaker... open the House to all members... so that every member can sit on a chair with a mask,” he said. 

Majority had been vaccinated, he argued, essentially attaining herd immunity. In light of these strides, he urged the speaker to let Bunge be filled again. While some, like oldie Jimmy Angwenyi, opposed Duale’s request, the majority were dying to see faces they last saw when Covid struck.

Alego Usonga’s Sam Atandi echoed his feelings, speaking with more desperation. The current situation made him feel shackled, and he cried for freedom. “Let us free the House,” Atandi implored, suggesting that he had missed the voices of his colleagues who no longer get the chance to address Bunge.

It wouldn’t make any difference, Lamu Woman Rep Ruweida Mohamed suggested, given that Bunge struggles to raise a quorum. Who would have thought our wahesh could be so needy? They already meet wananchi every week in rallies, isn’t that more company than they would ever need?

No, it isn’t. MPs have more to talk about with each other than they do with the common folk.  Conversations with wananchi are usually monologues, which involve the wahesh trying to champion wheelbarrows or a Sh6,000 monthly stipends. Such conversations leave them jaded. But it’s never a dull day in Bunge. One minute MPs will be hurling insults at each other, the next calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”.

Equally important, staying close to each other makes it easier to plot salary increments. At some other point, pat a colleague on the back for a job well done, which sometimes involves getting perks to shoot down reports. Other times the pat is meant to encourage them after a shoddy job. With Bunge operating at less than half its capacity, no one is close enough to pat the other.