David Kimaiyo’s ‘katekoriko’ declaration of war against scribes over Westgate mall

Last weekend, the security folks manning the Nyayo Stadium warned this howling man to stay away because he appeared inebriated, but he refused to leave. So he was forcefully removed from behind by the smiling man, who was obviously enjoying his work. [Photo: MBUGUA KIBERAL/STANDARD]

By PETER KIMANI

I am writing from an undisclosed location beyond our shores, hopefully beyond the clutches of Police Inspector General David Kimaiyo.

I hear the man has been walking around town dangling handcuffs, looking for scribes to arrest because he thinks their reporting on Westgate was pure propaganda meant to buoy terrorists and their sympathisers.

I totally understand Kimaiyo’s righteous fury, and fully concur with his sentiments: the news that only four scrawny lads with twisted minds engaged a battalion of soldiers for four days, will no doubt puncture some bloated egos among security bosses.

MILITARY REGALIA

The last time I saw Kimaiyo in his full military regalia, complete with sash and epaulettes, he was in the fading light of Westgate, where he assured the nation – with no sense of irony – that the joint security response to Westgate was “the best”.

Most Kenyans now appreciate that what happened at Westgate is a national embarrassment, what with the strategic and operational blunders that cost so many lives, and are bound to cost the economy much more.

I’m not adding theft concerns because Kimaiyo will say that is pure propaganda since such intelligence has not reached him and his boys yet.

So this week, an enraged Kimaiyo said the repeated insinuations that the security organs sent to Westgate had less than honourable intentions sufficiently provoked him to issue a “katekoriko” warning against those intent on besmirching the boys in blue.

Hear him: “I want to come out very strongly…” There is, of course, no need to “come out very strongly” when one has issued a “katekoriko” warning.

But perhaps it does make sense to “come out very strongly,” especially against scribes armed only with pens, when there is nothing coming out except a constant reminder of one’s failure.

Kimaiyo told us this week he had no idea that the so-called terrorist White Widow lived out of Nairobi for months. Actually, the boys in blue had been tipped off by Interpol earlier on, and managed to trace the widow’s Mombasa hideout.

All she did to get off the hook was to flash a smile and wave her fake passport that claimed she was South African.

And since our cops have vast experience in photocopying – there was a time when the Abstract Form was almost always the last copy at the station, so extras had to be copied on demand at a fee – they copied the fake passport.

I wonder if the White Widow was charged for the photocopying. The police suspected nothing, even of the large haul of cash in foreign currency found in the house.

I’m not sure if the boys in blue mistook the dollars and pounds for Bangla cash, the vouchers popularised by some non-profit organisation to enable some Coastal slum dwellers pick food from the shops, but then anything is possible with our boys.

Make no mistake, Kimaiyo’s actions are noble, guided as they are by his devotion, not to his country or its people, but something even grander. “We must be loyal to the system and the government of the day,” Kimaiyo said.

TEMPORAL NATURE

That’s quite revealing about the temporal nature of his ideals. He knows systems and governments come and go, and so do top cops. He must find something more solid to hold him up in times of crisis, and the “katekoriko” warning he is about “to come out strongly” on some yet to be disclosed mission or destination comes in handy.

And that’s a very good place to be, for our security forces need not commit any action to remain in motion.