Can couples survive different spending habits?

Can couples survive different spending habits? (Photo: iStock)

Money is one of the leading causes of tension in relationships, yet perfect financial compatibility between partners is rare. According to Patrick Wameyo, there is no such thing as perfect financial compatibility between partners.

“There are no two perfectly compatible people, but partners can agree on what needs to be achieved and work towards it,” he says.

He notes that the way one partner handles money will rarely mirror the other’s, due to differences in personality and family background. The most common scenario, he explains, is a saver paired with a spender. The saver is usually organised and careful with finances, while the other may struggle to manage money effectively.

“Both extremes are very possible to find between couples,” he adds.

Patrick emphasises that relationships can survive despite different money habits, as love is rarely based on finances alone. However, money eventually becomes necessary, and poor financial habits can create strain.

He observes that men, in particular, may feel insecure or arrogant if they are poor money managers.

“Poor money habits may lead one partner to give up on the other. If one person is constantly forced to make ends meet, it is not sustainable over time,” he explains.

Financial stress, he notes, affects overall relationship satisfaction. Stress caused by low income is generally easier to manage than stress caused by human error, such as extravagance, gambling, or careless spending. “People can live on a low income, but poor habits can lead to conflict between couples,” he says.

Being frugal, Patrick points out, is beneficial, as it involves maximising resources and spending wisely.

In practical terms, financial compatibility is not about perfection in money management but about setting common goals and prioritising spending together.

“People can have different spending habits but still be compatible. Being compatible is about agreeing on common goals,” he says.

He advises couples to allocate money for both individual needs and joint priorities, maintaining personal independence while achieving shared objectives.

“There are things one would want to do individually. What matters is reaching an understanding of shared objectives. This understanding develops over time,” he adds.

Compatibility, Patrick insists, revolves around agreement on priorities and consistent effort to achieve them. Living together, partners often learn from one another; for instance, the less organised partner can improve if their partner is strong at planning.

“Mutual understanding is key. If the better organiser takes the lead, it works well, but conflicts arise if one partner is wasteful and does not appreciate the other’s efforts,” he says.

Strife often occurs when a disorganised partner refuses to acknowledge poor money habits or declines guidance.

Patrick emphasises that a financial plan alone does not create compatibility but supports it by providing a framework for prioritising goals. Differences in priorities, however, can make compatibility more challenging. Couples must agree on what to focus their money on.

Assessing compatibility begins with open discussions about finances and understanding each partner’s habits.

“When you meet, you meet as lovers, not finance experts. All partners are incompatible at first. Only by talking can they understand each other’s approach to money,” he says.

He encourages couples to acknowledge differences, set up joint accounts, commit to shared goals, assign responsibilities, and remain transparent about separate accounts.