The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
It is becoming increasingly popular for couples to move in together before marriage. Cohabiting is a major step.
But what do you consider before moving in together?
Often, long term partners move in together by default. “We are always at your place anyway” or “let’s cut down on costs” may come up, but that is hardly romantic or well thought out.
You want to know that you are not just doing it for the convenience, but because of your growing love and commitment for each other.
“Before you sign that new lease or make a bunch of extra keys, clarify why you’re doing this. Ask yourself, ‘Why do I think this is beneficial or necessary to my relationship?’ sex educator Kiana Lewis told National Public Radio (NPR).
While establishing the purpose of the move, determine how permanent the arrangement is and what your end goal is, such that nothing is lost in translation.
You may intend to live together for the foreseeable future, or instead aim for an engagement and marriage soon after, and it’s best to be on the same page about the timelines and what comes next.
Think about finances
- Five bedroom secrets women want men to know
- How to take initiative in the bedroom
- Should I move in with my boyfriend?
- I'm into him, but he does not notice me
Keep Reading
In the era of ‘Sprinkle Sprinkle’, many women are watching Shera Seven’s viral TikTok clips where she encourages women to date men who are providers.
With such advice heavily influencing young women today, it’s easy to assume that the man will take care of everything.
But it doesn’t always happen that way, and finances must be discussed before taking such a step.
Whether he’s paying the bills or you are doing it 50/50, it’s best to establish budgets, savings plans and whether you’ll want to take on joint investments.
New York Times lists money questions to ask when moving in with your partner, and these include: “What would we want our life together to look like? What would you do if you won the lottery? How do you think our financial priorities might change in the next ten years?”
The magazine reports: “A financial goal-setting conversation with a more distant time horizon will fill in more of the details on the shared vision you’re drawing up as a couple.”
The report adds that the couple should consider disclosing personal financial details to each other, like how much they make or how much debt they are in. It is an important conversation to have, and a delicate one.
Key question; how compatible are you?
You will be sharing your space and as such, your religion, spirituality and culture may have more of an effect on the relationship. You are also likely to have more interactions with your significant other’s family.
If you have different spiritual beliefs, determine whether it is something that you can both accept and navigate in a healthy way.
Dishes, laundry or cleaning can also be a sore subject if not properly discussed.
“Who will do the laundry or will you each do your own? Who’s in charge of cooking and doing dishes? Who takes out the trash? These questions to ask before moving in together should be hashed out before the big transition,” Pods, a moving company notes on its blog.
The report adds that when planning how your shared home will be maintained, agreement, rather than compromise is best.
“Agreement implies both people are invested in the plan, while compromise highlights the fact that both people aren’t getting what they want. It can be a good idea to write out your agreement so everything’s clear and on paper.”
“Hope for the best and prepare for the worst,” so says the famous quote by Maya Angelou.
When you get to the point of wanting to wake up next to your partner everyday, you are probably blissfully in love. Splitting up would be the furthest thing from your mind, but it remains a possibility.
The blogpost by Pods reports that the couple planning to move in together should consider making a “contingency plan in case of a breakup.”
“People think they are going to jinx their relationships if they talk about breaking up. There is a way to talk about it. For example, you could say: ‘While all our energy is going into making this a successful, wonderful next step, we do need to talk about what happens if it doesn’t work out.’”
The report lists shared bills, furniture, and properties/investments bought together as subjects that have to come up.
join