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What to do when your spouse sides with your in-laws

Avoid putting your husband in positions where he has to choose between you and his family (Photo: iStock)

It can be disappointing when your marriage isn’t progressing as peacefully as you had imagined because of the in-law situation.

It’s even more terrible when you hoped that your spouse would defend you but they end up taking their family’s side.

This heartbreaking situation happens a lot but hopefully, things can take a turn for the better if you put these tips to practice:

  • Be honest with your spouse

There are certain conversations that can still be difficult to have with our better half even if they are our best friends and partner for life. If you tell them that you don’t really like certain family members from their side, they might get angry and defensive.

Maybe you’ve expressed before that something isn’t right but you haven’t talked about the details in a serious way. You can try to have this conversation stating your true feelings. You also need to let them know that part of the issue is that they are not treating you like a priority when you are meant to be moving as a team.

Focus on what matters and not the little things constantly annoying you (Photo: iStock)
  • Respect boundaries

It might seem wise to handle the issue how you think it should be handled but this doesn’t always work. Your spouse might not be comfortable with you wanting to confront those family members directly and they might also want to avoid bringing up certain topics for whatever reason.

Your partner understands details about their own family that you might not know about and that is why it’s probably best to respect those reservations.

  • Focus on what matters

Even though you’re a part of each other’s families, you and your spouse have your own family to worry about. The vows you exchanged at the altar are about your union and that is where your main focus should be.

Thinking about this can help you let go of those stressful emotions you’re feeling and motivate you to think about your spouse and kids first.

Always choose peace, don't go fighting battles you are likely not to win (Photo: iStock)
  • Seek counselling

If you reach that point where this situation is affecting your life and mental health, seek some therapy. You shouldn’t suffer alone especially now that you’re unable to agree on a solution with your partner.

Don’t feel guilty about booking a personal session for yourself because you’re the one wearing the shoe and you know where it hurts.

  • Choose peace

Ignoring toxic in-laws is usually easier said than done. They are a part of your life now that you’re officially married to your spouse and that can take a toll on your marriage if you allow it to.

At some point, you have to do what is best for you by simply ignoring the negativity. It might take time to master this skill but it’s definitely worth it because you will learn to manage your emotions and enjoy your marriage experience better.