How many friends do you have?

**Depression is a disease of loneliness- Anonymous** [Courtesy]

As I have grown older, I have realized that I do not make friends easily. That yes I will have wonderful conversations with multiple people and have some really fun times, but I will never really let them in. I will never be vulnerable with them, cry on their shoulder or share my deepest hurts with them. I can probably do that with about three people in the whole wide world. And one of the three is my husband. Sounds pathetic, right? That three is such a small number. But do you know that I am more the rule than the exception? That some people have no true friends, no confidants to speak of, no one they can really trust?

If say you had to spend days in jail, and probably suffered a national humiliation from your purported crime, who would you call if one of the wardens allowed you to use their phone? And no, you couldn’t call your parents or siblings. Chances are you would be hard-pressed on who would truly stand by you. Because you know that most of your friends would keep their distance to preserve their ‘good’ reputations, or they would be wondering if you really did the crime you are accused of.

If you lost your job today, and your children were sent home for school fees and you really had an empty bank account and was a few hundred shillings away from being penniless and destitute; who is that one person you would unburden to? And count on helping you out without necessarily running to WhatsApp to share with another mutual friend about how much the rain has been beating you?

If you have one such person in your life, make an effort to be as good a friend to them as they are to you. Don’t take it for granted. Call them up, visit them. Don’t wait for them to call them only when you need saving. As for the ones you know you couldn’t really count on, don’t use too much time on them. Time is a precious commodity that once gone, can never be reclaimed.