Why high profile, super rich people divorce more than the poor

Living together for more than a decade should mean that a couple has formed a strong bond, not so? Well, judging by ongoing trends, this is not always the case. According to relationship experts, splitting up later in life, sometimes called "gray divorce," is not a strange thing. What more, divorcing after decades of living together tends to be common among the haves, compared to the have nots since financial stress is a non issue.

Few divorce cases in Kenya equals that of 1987 between the late ambassador Peter Echaria and his late wife Priscilla Njeri Echaria. The Echarias married in Moscow, Russia in 1964, but divorced in Kenya where a precedent-setting ruling allowed women to get a share of the matrimonial property, including their 118-acre Twiga Hill Farm in Tigoni.

After parting ways with Njeri, Echaria married Dorothy Kanyiva, with whom he lived with on one part of the farm after the High Court awarded Njeri 25 acres, down from the 58 acres she had demanded. Echaria and Kanyiva later sued Njeri for taking over their matrimonial home with goods worth Sh7 million, including alcoholic drinks, a will, books, a Kanu certificate, gold jewelry, clothing and dogs.

Another gray divorce that will go down Kenya's history books is that of the late Jackson Kibor and his wives. More than three years ago, Uasin Gishu farmer Jackson Kibor filed for divorce against his third wife, five months after he divorced his second. Kibor, then 87, divorced Naomi Jeptoo Kibor, whom he married over 43 years ago. Months earlier, Kibor convinced an Eldoret court to dissolve his marriage to his second wife, Josephine Jepkoech, with whom he had been for 52 years. Kibor claimed Jeptoo left their matrimonial home, denying him conjugal rights and that she had not been supportive, was extremely hostile and intolerant.

Another case is that of former Meru Senator Mithika Linturi. The politician and his estranged partner Marianne Keitany have turned bitter enemies. Keitany, a former Chief of Staff in the Office of the Deputy President William Ruto, wanted their union dissolved, citing cruelty, neglect, infidelity and desertion. Keitany accused Linturi of, among other things, failing to provide her with any emotional support, love, affection and care.

Empty nest syndrome

Author of the book, Wired For Love, Stan Tatkin, notes that gray divorces is not a sudden event that just happens, but it is triggered by something that is underlying.

"The marriage, in most cases, develops microcracks inside the structure you can't see. Then it finally reaches a breaking point and shatters," he writes in his book.

Could these late divorces be triggered by other things? Psychologist Faith Atsango argues that older people are likely to get divorced due to the 'empty nest syndrome'.

She says many couples usually stay together so that they raise children in a family environment.

"In many situations, a woman or man will stay until the kids are of age, and then decide to leave the marriage. We can only speculate since we don't know the real cause of the Gates divorce, but it's also important to note that their last born is 18 years. Probably, there is nothing bringing the couple together anymore," she says.

Atsango adds that, financial independence plays a big role.

"In a middle income family in case of separation, one party has to start life afresh, with a new home and new possessions. But with enough money, it's easier for someone to just move on with their life."

Atsango further adds that boredom can also lead to couple's growing apart.

"Being around the same person 24/7 can lead to boredom. In some cases, the couple's just stop trying and spicing things up. They work hard, play hard and neglect their partners. This is where most couples go wrong. They stop being the attentive, attractive spouse," she adds.